Myra's Story
by LovelyLene
Summary: When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn’t the woman he remembered… FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. Chapter 1

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But you can still apply for the job as my beta reader!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

"_Life is a wheel of changes  
But changes are life  
And someday we will have to say good bye  
But our spirit will survive  
Love is phasing  
Love is moving  
To the rhythm of your sight  
In the darkness I get closer  
To the crossing point of light  
Reason is lasting, passion is living  
And dying is teaching us how to live"_

_- Enigma_

**Chapter 1**

_**Spring 1875**_

Horace looked outside the window from his telegraph office. It was late in the afternoon, almost time for supper, so he would be closing up soon. It hadn't been a busy day for him; he had sold some train tickets, sent some telegrams, cleaned his working space and sorted the incoming mail. With nothing else left to do he had sat down on his chair and had decided to enjoy the peaceful silence. The sun shone brightly over Colorado Springs and birds called cheerfully to one another. Horace loved the sound of it. He looked at the people passing by. Most people he knew, but there were quite some people as well he had never seen before. How this town had changed in the last couple of years.

He thought back to the first time he had gotten to Colorado Springs. There had been just a few houses, a church and Loren's Mercantile. Everyone had known each other. But over the years, the town had grown, in many ways. The population had grown immensely and the town had gotten more prosperous. The first big change had been the railroad. He remembered what the announcement of it had done to the citizens. Some of them had been delighted by it! It would mean more visitors, which meant more money! But there had also been some people who had been completely against it; who didn't want the town to change.

Horace sighed. Everything had changed so much the last few years. Not just the town, the people as well. Colleen for example. He remembered her when he first came to Colorado Springs. She had just been born. Now, she was a married young woman who would be graduating soon. And who would have thought Jake would ever get married? But he did… with a wonderful woman who brought out the best in him. A knock on the window and a loud cough shook Horace from his thoughts.

"Ya ain't sleeping on the job, are ya Horace?" a familiar, mocking voice asked him. "Hank!" Horace called and looked at the tall, longhaired man in front of the ticket window. "What can I do for you?" he asked politely, though he didn't mean to be. He never liked Hank, in fact, there had been a time he had downright hated him. However, he knew the feeling had been mutual. It still was… "I'd like to buy a train ticket… to Denver," Hank said and put some money on the counter. "Ya going to visit your son?" Horace asked. "Not that it's any of yer business," Hank answered annoyed, "but yes… I am." _Why is it so hard to have a normal conversation with this man?_ Horace thought. _He can't say anything without being sarcastic or mocking me… or just being rude! _Horace sighed and decided to keep the conversation strictly businesslike. He took the money from the counter, gave Hank some change and handed him the train ticket. "Here you are," he said, "Have a nice day." Hank nodded his thanks and walked away.

_Speaking of change…_ Horace thought, _now there's a man who will NEVER change! Always being rude, annoying, making fun of people… making fun of me…_ He remembered the time he was about to shoot Hank. He had never been that angry in his life. Hank had threatened Myra with a gun… _Myra…_ It had been their engagement party. They were so happy… And then Hank had barged in… drunk… carrying a gun. Myra hadn't seemed afraid, but Horace had been. At that very moment he had been sure Hank would have killed Myra where she stood. But then Sully had thrown a block of wood which had sent Hank into a coma. Horace remembered grabbing a rifle himself and pointing it at Hank's head. He had wanted to kill him. Not just because of the incident. It had been because of Myra as well. He knew Myra cared for Hank, somehow… And no matter what Horace did, he knew she would always have a soft spot for Hank. Horace just couldn't understand why… What did Hank have, that he hadn't? Sometimes it felt like she cared more for Hank than for her own husband… _Ex-husband…_

Horace knew Hank had a good side… well, sort of anyway. The man just hardly showed it. He cared for his son, that was for sure. And he had shown that to the entire town. He cared for his Nana… even borrowed Horace's life to show that… And he was the only one who could stop baby Samantha, Horace's daughter, from crying… _Samantha…_

If there was one life that had changed in the last few years it had been his own. When he arrived in Colorado Springs he had been in his early twenties, and pretty much a 'nobody'. However, thanks to a whole lot of hard work he had been able to become 'somebody' in this town. He had his own business and he even got a seat on the town council. And who would have thought he would ever find a girl? He certainly hadn't… He wasn't a looker, in fact, he was more like the town's geek. But he had fallen in love with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen and to his surprise she had loved him back. _Myra… sweet, beautiful Myra…_ She was a saloon girl no less, but he had loved her! And they had gotten married, even gotten a beautiful daughter! He had never been more happy… but then everything had started to change… again… but for the worse this time… He and Myra had started to grow apart. They didn't understand each other anymore and in the end Myra had decided to leave him. And she had taken Samantha with her. It had been the worst moment of his life. Her departure had sent him into a huge depression. He had never felt such grief before… He had shocked everyone by trying to commit suicide. Myra had even come back to talk sense into him… Eventually he had been able to pick up his life again, though he had changed for good… He would never be the Horace everyone once knew…

After that last visit, he never heard from Myra again. He sometimes wondered where she was… what she was doing now… He missed her from time to time as well as his daughter. He missed his daughter even more! But they were gone now, and he knew he couldn't keep on waiting for them to come back. They would never come back to him… He would never see them again… Never… _Never…_ Horace sighed and looked at the clock. It was time to close up again. Another day had passed. Another day without Myra… without Samantha… He stood up and walked outside. He locked the door and headed home. His home… _An empty home…_

TBC

I just couldn't help myself… I just HAD to write again! Well, maybe some people will be glad that I did… So, tell me: What do you all think? Like it? Hate it? Should I continue? Press the blue button below please!


	2. Chapter 2

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this chapter! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I hope this story will keep your interest! Here's chapter 2…

**Chapter 2**

"Pa!" Zack called as soon as he saw his father. "Hey son," Hank said with a big smile on his face and hugged his son firmly. "Ya look good," he said as he took in the sight of the young man in front of him. Zack had turned eighteen two months earlier and only then had Hank realized how fast time passed by. He remembered the first time he brought Zack to the Denver Art School. He had been twelve years old; a young, shy boy with an amazing talent for art. Zack graduated a year ago and was now a teacher at the art school.

"H…How are ya P…pa?" Zack asked his father. He still spoke slowly and stuttered al little, though it wasn't as bad as when he was twelve. "Doin' fine," Hank answered, "And you?" "F…Fine Pa," Zack said, "H…How long are ya s…staying?" "Couple of days," Hank told him, "I'm staying at the hotel across the street." Zack nodded and beckoned Hank to follow him. "L…Lets go to m…my room. Would ya like s…some c…coffee?" he asked. Hank followed his son to his room. "Yeah, I'd like some coffee," he answered.

"Ya still living up here?" Hank asked when they entered the small room. Zack just nodded at him. "Wouldn't ya like to have a place of yer own?" his father asked. Zack shrugged. "I…it's okay like this," he answered, "Easy too… w…working here and all…" He was quiet for a moment. "B…besides," he continued, "I… I don't have the m…money for it," Hank looked at his son questioningly. "Ya got a job right?" Hank asked. Zack nodded and said: "Yeah… but it d…doesn't pay m…much… This r…room is part of my p…payment as well… They let me s…stay here," He sighed deeply and lowered his head. He didn't want to disappoint his father. He didn't want his father to think that he couldn't take care of himself. "Well," Hank said, "If it's money ya need, all ya have to do is ask." Zack shook his head. "No!" he called out which startled Hank a bit. He gave his son a questioning look. "No," Zack said again, more softly this time, "That's not n…necessary… I…" He sighed deeply. "I want to be able to t…take care of m…myself," he explained, "P…please, don't get me w…wrong… But I'm eighteen years old n…now… I'm all g…grown up… I don't want to be d…dependent on you anymore…" Hank listened to his son and smiled. "I can understand that," he said, "But if ya ever really need it… don't be afraid to ask me… Don't let yer pride get in the way… Nothin' grown up 'bout that… Trust me, I know…" Zack smiled at his dad. "Thanks Pa," he said.

"I may be e…earning some money soon," Zack said, "T…there's this a…art gallery here who wants to d…display my work… M…maybe that way I'd be able to s…sell s…something. I also p…placed an a…advertisement in the newspaper… People can have their p…portraits drawn or p…painted for money… Even f…family portraits… I already got a few r…requests!" Hank smiled and patted him on the back. "That's real good, son," he said, "Ya gonna be alright… Now where's my coffee?" Zack laughed back at his father and walked towards the tiny kitchen in the back of the room. He poured himself and his dad some coffee and handed his father a cup. Hank nodded his thanks and sat down on a chair. He couldn't believe how fast his son had grown up. His little boy was now a man! A man who could take care of himself. That particular fact hurt Hank for a moment. Zack could take care of himself, which meant that he didn't need his father anymore. _Did he?_ Hank sighed and took a sip from his coffee. _Of course he'll still need me! But he'll need me for other things now… Advice… Advice about girls maybe… _He smiled to himself and then looked back at his son again. He felt proud. Of all the things he had done in his life, there was only one thing he was fully proud of: his son.

"Pa?" Zack suddenly said, "There's s…something else I have to t…tell you." Hank looked up. "What is it?" he asked curiously. "Well," he said a bit hesitantly, "I've met this g…girl…" Hank grinned. "Ya did?" he said and sipped from his coffee again. "Yes," Zack said, "She's real nice… and p…pretty…" Hank had to force himself not to laugh out loud when he saw his son blush from ear to ear. "Ya have feelings for her?" he asked. Zack shrugged. "I… I think I do," he said softly, "I c…can't think when I'm a…around her." Hank nodded. "Really?" he said amused, "And does she know how ya feel?" Zack shook his head. "Don't think so… N…never told her really… Should I tell her?" Hank put his cup of coffee on the table and said: "Well, if ya want to court her it would be sensible to tell her… Nothing will happen if ya don't… And ya won't find out whether she feels the same about you either. What's her name?" Zack listened to his father's words. They sounded logical, though it's easier said than done. "Jasmine," Zack answered and smiled as he said her name. "Nice," Hank commented and grinned. "Can ya tell me more about her?" Zack nodded happily. "She's 17 years old and she's from a p…pretty w…wealthy family… She s…studies m…medicine at the university here… She's going to be a d…doctor, like Dr. Mike!" Hank listened as his son spoke. The girl sounded nice, though he didn't like the 'wealthy family' part. He wondered whether his son would be accepted in that family. An artist… a son of a saloon owner… _Well, let's hope they're a bit open-minded…_ he thought.

Zack talked for hours about Jasmine. He told his father how they had met. How she had visited the art school because she wanted her portrait painted by someone. Zack had decided to do it and so she had visited him for a week, every afternoon after college. While Zack had painted her portrait they had talked about all kinds of stuff. School, family, their ambitions, art… she loved art! She had told him how she would love to learn how to draw, so he had offered her to teach her. And so he did, every day after college… "I've d…drawn another picture of her," he said to his father. He walked to his desk where he searched between documents, papers and other drawings. _An organized mess, _Hank thought as Zack seemed to have found exactly what he was looking for. He walked towards his father and showed him the drawing. Hank looked at the girl in it. She was indeed beautiful. Hank was glad that it was a colorized drawing so he was able to picture the girl as she really was. She had long, slightly flowing, red hair and big, blue eyes. She had some freckles on her cheeks and a gorgeous, flashing smile. "Well," Hank started, "If she is as nice as she looks… I'd say, go for her!" _I know I would have…_ Zack smiled. "Thanks Pa," he said and put the drawing back where he got it from. Then he sat down next to his father and said: "I'm glad ya here, Pa…" Hank nodded. "So am I…"

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Hank stood in front of the hotel he was staying in and looked around. He didn't want to go back to the hotel just yet. _A drink would be nice, _he thought. He knew a saloon a few streets away from the hotel so he decided to head that way. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in such a good mood. Visiting his son had done him good. It was good to see that his little boy had grown up and that he was able to take care of himself. That he had found himself a job and that most likely he would be making money from his art as well. And he was in love! Hank just hoped the girl wouldn't break his son's heart. Or that her 'wealthy' family would…

He looked around. He was in the 'bad' part of town now. The differences in this city never ceased to amaze him. Some places were so rich and prosperous, while other parts were so poor that people were living on the streets or in slums. Suddenly he felt a hand slipping into his coat. _Someone is picking my pockets!_ He spun around and grabbed the hand firmly. "What the hell ya think ya doin'?" he asked in a gruff voice. He looked at the person in front of him. The person was wearing a dark cloak which also hid the person's face. Though, judging from the size and the slender, feminine looking fingers of the person's hand Hank knew he was dealing with a woman here. "Let me go," she said and tried to pull away from Hank's grasp. "I don't think so," Hank replied, "Ya were trying to pick my pockets! I should turn ya in!" Again the woman tried to break free. "I was hungry alright!" she yelled at him. She almost sounded desperate. _Why does her voice sound so familiar? _Hank thought and took in her petite form. "Ain't a reason to steal my money," he said to her. "I'm sorry," the woman whispered, defeated. Again, he listened carefully to her voice. He knew he heard her voice before, but he couldn't place it. Then he grabbed the hood attached to her cloak and pulled it off to reveal her face. He couldn't believe what he saw as he recognized the person in front of him: "Myra?"

TBC

So, what do you think? R&R please!


	3. Chapter 3

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 3**

"Myra?" the man said in disbelief. _How did this man know her name? _She looked up and for the first time she looked the tall man in the eyes. "Hank…" she whispered not really believing what was happening. What were the odds she would walk into a person she knew? Especially this person… Hank… _No! I don't want him to see me like this… I need to get away!_ She tried to break free from his grasp. "Let me go!" she yelled at him again. "I don't think so," Hank replied and tightened his grip on her. "You're hurting me!" she said and choked back a sob. "Myra!" Hank called to her and pulled her closer. He forced her to meet his eyes. "Myra," he said softly, "don't ya recognize me? It's me, Hank…" The look in her eyes broke his heart. It was a look of desperation and fear, but also one of recognition. She DID recognize him.

As she realized who was standing in front of her and as she realized that all of it was truly happening, Myra started to cry. Hank had found her! _Could this be the end of her misery? _Hank… Memories of a time that seemed so long ago flooded her mind. Too many memories, feelings of happiness, joy… She saw images of her previous life; her life as a wife, a mother… _Samantha…_ Her daughter… Horace's daughter… _Horace… _ Suddenly it all became to much for her. She lowered her head as her world started to spin. Her head filled with the pounding of her own heart. She was breathing hard, as if she was exhausted. Maybe she was…. "Oh Hank," she managed to say before she passed out…

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Hank looked at the young woman on his bed. The young woman he once knew… _Why was she here? And how did she end up living like this? On the streets…_ Many questions flooded his mind. _Did Horace know about this? And where was Samantha? Their daughter…_ Hank took in Myra's sight. She looked terrible. She was thin, too thin, and her skin had this strange, grey color. There were also dark circles beneath her eyes and her hair was longer than he'd ever seen it. There were even some strands of grey hair. Her clothes were filthy as was her hair and skin. She looked like she had been through a lot and Hank hoped she would wake up soon so she could tell him. Would she tell him?

_Myra, what happened to ya? What happened to ya, which was so bad that ya couldn't come to us for help? That ya couldn't come back to Colorado Springs… To me… I would have helped ya, ya know… Everyone would have… You don't have to live like this! You don't deserve it… Why Myra? Why didn't ya come back home?_

Hank sighed deeply and sat down on a chair beside the bed. He recalled the events that had happened earlier that day. Less than an hour ago he had left the art school, after having visited his son. Then he had walked into her… _or was it the other way around? _She had tried to steal his money and he had gotten very mad with her. But then she had spoken to him and he had recognized her voice. He had confronted her and then she had collapsed right in front of him. He had caught her and had brought her back to his hotel room. Now she was lying on his bed. _Myra… sweet, beautiful Myra… I won't let ya out of my sight again… I've done that once… Was the biggest mistake of my life… Ya won't run from me this time, Myra… Let me help you…_

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After what seemed like hours, Myra slowly opened her eyes. _What had happened? Where was she? _She sat up when she realized she wasn't outside anymore. She was lying on a soft bed, which felt like heaven to her. She could hardly remember the last time she had slept in a bed like that. She looked around the room and saw Hank sitting on a chair beside the bed. "Hey, ya awake," he said with a smile. Then she remembered. She had tried to pick a man's pockets so she could buy herself some food, but the man had caught her in the act. And the man had turned out to be Hank… She had felt so many feelings at the same time. Fear, joy, relief… It had overwhelmed her, so she had passed out.

"Where am I?" she asked, her voice soft. "At my hotel room," Hank replied, "Ya passed out… I thought I'd bring ya here…" Myra just nodded. "Could I have some water please?" she asked him. "Sure," Hank said and stood up to get her a glass of water. "Here ya are," he said and handed her the glass. "Thank you," she said and took a sip. The water tasted like ambrosia to her. She drank fast which made her choke. She coughed and spilled some water on the bed. "I'm sorry," she said between coughs. "It's alright," Hank said who had rushed to her side and patted her back softly. "It's been a while since ya tasted water like this right?" A faint grin appeared on his face while he spoke to her. To his surprise Myra smiled back at him. "You could say that," she answered, "Most water I drink these days is rainwater, or something like it… I really don't care as long as it's liquid." She looked away in embarrassment.

Hank sat back in his chair. "Myra," he started, "What happened to ya? How did ya end up like this?" Myra sighed and shook her head. "You don't want to know," she answered. "I DO want to know," Hank replied. "But I don't want to tell you," she said. She still wasn't looking at Hank. "Myra, ya don't have to feel embarrassed… You know you can talk to me…" Hank told her gently. "You would hate me," she said, her voice cold. "Everyone would… I've made some big mistakes and now I'm paying for it!" "I though ya knew us better than that, Myra," Hank said and gave her a penetrating look. "Where's Samantha?" he asked her. That was enough for her. She stood up from the bed and tried to make her way to the door. Hank was faster, though. "Myra, if ya run again, I can't help ya," he said to her and looked her straight in the eyes. "If ya want yer life back then this is yer chance… I can help ya… I WILL help ya… But ya have to decide now, cause I may not be here tomorrow…"

Myra sighed deeply. She knew he was right, though it wasn't all that simple. "You think you know everything, don't you?" she said, almost angrily. "You know NOTHING about what I had to go through these last few years… What I had to do to survive… Don't think you can play a hero… Don't think you can solve my problems just like that!" She almost sounded hysterical. "Myra!" he called. "Tell me… I just want ya to tell me… I'll listen ya know… And if ya still want to leave after ya told me, I'll let ya go… I promise…" His voice was soft and kind and she knew he meant every word he said. She sighed. "Alright," she answered," but…" She was quiet and lowered her head. "What?" Hank asked. She obviously wanted to ask him something, but was afraid to. "What is it?" he asked again. "Well," she said a bit shyly, "I'd kill for a nice, hot bath…" Hank had to chuckle which made Myra's cheeks flush even more. "Really?" Hank said amused. "No offence but ya could definitely use one… so could yer clothes…" He winked at her which made her smile a little. "Lets make a deal," he said, "I'll make ya a bath, get you something to eat and you tell me yer story afterwards." Myra smiled shaking her head a little. "Still a businessman, aren't ya Hank? You've got yourself a deal…"

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Myra couldn't remember ever enjoying a bath this much. The water was warm, clean and there was soap and a warm fluffy towel. After almost an hour she decided to get out of the bath and dry herself. Hank had given her one of his shirts to wear while her own clothes were being washed and dried. She hadn't felt this good in a long time, even though, she knew the feeling wouldn't last. It would be over after she told Hank her story. "Took ya long enough," she heard the familiar sarcastic voice say when she stepped into the bedroom. "It's been long enough since I had a bath," she replied with a smile. She sat down on the bed again, enjoying the soft material underneath her skin. Hank handed her a plate with food. Myra looked delighted at all the food and then she realized how hungry she really was. She ate it all and enjoyed every bit. Hank watched amused as Myra gobbled down her meal. "Tastes good, huh?" he grinned. Again Myra had to blush. "It's okay," Hank said, "Ya were hungry, obviously…" He winked at her. He gave her another glass of water after she finished her meal. She nodded her thanks and took some sips. She felt better than she had in months.

Hank sat down on the chair beside the bed again and watched her closely. He could see she was a bit nervous. "Ya ready?" he asked her. Myra nodded. "I am… The question is: Are YOU ready? It's quite a story I have to tell you…" Hank nodded at her, encouraging her to tell him her story. "Okay," she said, "here it goes…"

TBC

R&R Please!


	4. Chapter 4

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 4**

Myra sighed deeply and thought of how to begin her story. So much had happened to her that she just didn't know where to start. She looked at Hank, who seemed to be waiting patiently for her, briefly before she began her tale. It was amazing how he could make her feel so relaxed. He had always been able to do that. She smiled at him and then decided she could begin with her story. "Well," she started, "as you know I come from a big family… I'm the oldest… and my family was very, very poor. So, when I was sixteen I decided to move out and search for a good job so I could support my family. Well, we all know how that turned out… I met you… and didn't really end up with my dream job… No offence…" She looked shyly at Hank, hoping she hadn't offended him. He just grinned at her and beckoned her to continue.

"We both know how the story ended though… I left you, married Horace, got a child and then left Horace… I decided to go back home again; however, things weren't as I remembered them. While I lived in Colorado Springs I never contacted my family. I just didn't know what to tell them… I was afraid what they might think of me… I didn't want to disappoint them… That also meant that I had no idea how things were going at home…" Myra was quiet for a moment and looked briefly outside the window before continuing. "When I left Horace and went back to St. Louis I couldn't find my family at first. The house we had lived in for years was gone and it took me a while to figure out where they were living now. I was pretty shocked to find out where they were living … well… where my mother was living anyway… I had never seen a house as big as that before… It looked wonderful and I just couldn't believe my family was living there… It turned out that some years before, my father had found gold and turned into a very rich man… Sadly, he died a year after that… So I found only my mother living there… My brothers and sisters had already left the house. They were married, had jobs…" Again Myra lapsed into silence. Hank watched her carefully and seemed very curious to find out how the story would develop. Sighing, Myra said: "Mother wasn't really glad to see me at first… One of my brothers had travelled to Colorado Springs once and he had probably seen me working for you… So mother already knew about my life as a whore… She obviously despised me… She let me inside her house, however, and let me tell my side of the story. She actually accepted it and decided to let me and Samantha stay with her. About two months later I got the message from Dr. Mike that Horace had tried to kill himself… I had no choice but to go to him, so I did… I felt responsible… As you know I stayed in Colorado Springs for a week or so and after everything seemed to have settled down again, I went back home… That's when all the misery started…"

_The stagecoach driver brought her bags to the house while Myra carried Samantha. "Thank you sir," she said to the man and gave him some money as a reward. "You're welcome miss," he said to her. He tipped his hat and then walked away. Myra opened the door of her mother's house and walked inside. "Ma?" she called, "We're home!" She walked down the hallway and looked around for her mother. She stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the living room. Where was all their stuff? "Ma?" she called again. She walked back into the hallway and decided to go to the dining room. Meanwhile she noticed that many things were missing from her home. So were the table and the chairs in the dining room. "Oh God," Myra said, knowing that there was something really wrong here. "Mother!" she called, but still there was no answer. She decided to go upstairs. She still carried Samantha, who was playing with her mother's long hair, in her arms. She checked her own room first. She was close to tears when she saw that the whole room was empty. Everything she had ever owned was gone. "Mom…" she whispered as she choked back a sob. She was close to panicking. What was going on here? She rushed to her mother's room and as she had feared, this one was empty as well. _

"_Miss?" she heard someone call behind her. Myra turned around and looked at the elderly man in front of her. She guessed him to be in his late fifties. "May I ask you what you are doing here, Miss?" the man asked her. "What?" Myra was dumbfounded by the question. 'What am I doing here' she thought, 'What is HE doing here?' "I live here," she said to the man, "What are you doing here?" The man sighed deeply and shook his head. "You're related to Mrs. Peterson?" he asked her. Myra nodded. "She's my mother," she replied. The man moved towards her and had this strange look on his face. Was it sadness? Whatever it was, it bothered Myra. In fact, it scared her to death! "I'm afraid I have bad news for you, Miss Peterson," he said. His voice was soft, almost sad. Myra felt her heart beat loudly in her chest. She had this bad feeling… This man was going to tell her something bad. A part of her wanted to run away and hide. She didn't want to know what this man had to say. _

"_Your mother died a week ago," the man said to the young woman in front of him. "Wha… What?" Myra couldn't believe what the man was saying, though a part of her had already expected that the man would tell her exactly this. "Oh no!" she exclaimed and fell down on her knees with Samantha still in her arms. She held on to her daughter tightly and let her tears flow freely from her eyes. The man rushed to the young woman's side and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry miss," he said, his voice sincere. It took a while before Myra's sobs subsided. The man gave her a handkerchief to wipe her tears away. Eventually she stood up again and looked at the man standing in front of her. She felt numb, however, many questions formed in her mind. "Who are you?" she asked the man. "I'm Mr. MacDowell," he answered, "I'm the new owner of this house." For the second time that day Myra was dumbfounded. "Excuse me?" Myra answered and looked at the man questioningly. This wasn't making any sense to her. What had happened here the last couple of days? "I… I don't understand…" she said, her voice hoarse. "Lets go to the room next door," Mr. MacDowell said to Myra, "We can sit down there… Maybe you'd like something to drink?" Myra nodded. They walked to the next room which had a table and two chairs in it. Mr. MacDowell poured Myra and her daughter some water and put it on the table. "Thank you," she whispered, still not comprehending what had happened. She sat down on a chair, Samantha on her lap._

"_I'll tell you everything I know," Mr. MacDowell said and sat down opposite her. "Your mother died six days ago," he started. "A heart attack, the doctor called it… She was buried two days later and this house was put up for sale. I bought it a day after that." Myra shook her head while the man spoke. "But what about her stuff?" she asked, "What about MY stuff?" The man shrugged. "I don't know that much about it," he replied, "I talked to a Mr. Peterson, your brother I presume… He told me that your mother had a will and according to that will all the things in this house should be divided amongst Mrs. Peterson's children. Same goes for her money…" "What about me?" Myra asked desperately, "I'm one of those children! Where are my things? The things I already owned?" The man sighed. He took pity on the young woman. He pulled a letter from his pocket and gave it to her. "Maybe this letter will explain some things. I was asked to give it to you when you arrived back here."_

_Myra opened the envelope and pulled out a letter. Taking one brief look she already knew what it was. "It's my mother's will," she said softly and decided to read it. Suddenly she started to cry. She let the letter fall from her hands and sobbed. Mr. MacDowell just watched the young woman. He felt bad for her, but there wasn't much he could do for her. It wasn't any of his business anyway. He didn't want it to be his business either. "She cut me from her will," she said miserably after her sobs had subsided. "But why… Why is my stuff gone too? And Samantha's? Why?" She looked at the man pleadingly, although he didn't have the answers to her questions. "I don't know, Miss Peterson," he said softly. "What am I going to do now?" she said, more to herself than to Mr. MacDowell. "Where am I going to live?" Tears started to form in her eyes again. She held on to her daughter once more. "You could stay here for a couple of days," the man offered but Myra shook her head. "No!" she said, more loudly than she intended to. "No… I… I can't stay here anymore… Thank you for the offer… But I can't stay…" She drunk the water the man had offered her, stood up and walked out of the room. She practically ran from the stairs with Samantha in her arms and rushed out the door. Once outside she seemed to realize for the very first time what had happened and what this meant for her. She had nothing! Her mother had died and she was left with nothing! Everything she had ever owned was gone… The only thing she had left was her daughter and the few clothes in her suitcase. Right now, that was her life…_

_TBC_

Wow! I was really on a role while writing this chapter! Let me know what you think of it!


	5. Chapter 5

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

I'd like to thank everyone who read the previous chapters! And a special thank you to those who reviewed. I LOVE feedback! Here's the next chapter…

**Chapter 5**

Hank had listened in disbelief while Myra told him about her mother's death and her mother's will. How she had cut her own daughter out of it. He had even gotten angry about it. "It's not her fault," Myra said, "Her will had a date on it… It was made a couple of years before… probably after she found out I worked as a whore… She cut me out of it out of anger… disappointment maybe… She just never got a chance to rectify it. I don't blame her…" Hank sighed. "So what did ya do after that?" he asked her. "Well," Myra started, "I went to my neighbour's house… an elderly lady and a very good friend of my mother's… She offered me a place to stay for a while… even bought me some things for Samantha, like toys and a little bed for her to sleep in… She was really kind…" "What happened?" Hank asked, knowing that something must have happened which had caused her to leave her neighbour's house as well… Myra sighed and sat down on the bed. "Job searching didn't go as well as expected…"

"_Oh, you look nice today!" Diane Pierce, Myra's neighbour, said. "Thank you Diane," Myra answered, "I have a job interview today… at a bank again," Diane smiled at her. She was an elderly lady, in her late fifties, and had taken Myra and her daughter into her house. She had felt so bad for the young woman; she just couldn't turn her back on the daughter of her late best friend. "Good luck!" she called after Myra who walked out the door. Myra waved at her and closed the door behind her. Diane shook her head. The girl had been through so much. She knew about Myra's life as a whore. Her mother had told her all about it. It had been a scandal and she remembered how angry her friend had been with her daughter. But everything had turned out alright, eventually… Myra had been able to leave that life behind her and had started a life as a respectable woman. She had returned home to her mother and they had made up. Diane remembered how happy her friend had been. "I've got my daughter back!" she had said happily. But now her friend was dead. And Myra had to suffer the consequences. _

_Diane had known about her friend's will and after Myra had made up with her mother Diane had asked her friend whether she was going to change her will now. "I will," she had said, "But I don't have time for it now… I want to enjoy my daughter and my granddaughter… And I'm not planning on dying anytime soon!" They had laughed about it, not knowing that she WOULD die within a few weeks. After her death Myra was left with absolutely nothing. While she had been away, even her own things had been divided between her brothers and sisters. Myra had been devastated when she had gotten back. She had been angry too; especially with her brothers and sisters. She had tried to contact them, begging them to give her her things back, but they never responded. Eventually Myra had given up…_

_Diane looked at Samantha who was playing with some toys on the floor. Diane loved Samantha and wanted to give her the best life possible. She treated her as her granddaughter. Diane had two sons of her own, but they had never gotten married. She loved having a small child around again. She walked toward the little girl and lowered herself to the ground next to Samantha. "Let's hope mommy has more luck today," she said to the child who seemed to be completely unaware of what her mother was going through. "You deserve the best life in the world, little one," she said as she stroked the child's hair. "And if your mother can't give it to you, I will…"_

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_Myra cursed inwardly when she stepped outside the bank. Again she was rejected and only because she had worked as a whore somewhere in the past. 'Will my past always haunt me,' she wondered. The whole town seemed to know about her past, but nobody seemed to care about the fact that she wasn't living like that anymore. She sighed. 'Now what? I've been to every bank in this town… What else can I do?' She looked around and spotted a shop across the street. 'Maybe they have a job for me…'_

_She stepped inside the shop. She thought it looked a bit like Loren's mercantile. A man stood behind the counter who smiled at her gently. "Can I help you, Miss Peterson?" he asked her. "Well yes, maybe…" she said and walked towards the counter to face the man. "I'm looking for a job, and I was wondering if you have something for me." The man's smile faded immediately which already answered Myra's question. "Uh… I'm sorry Miss," he said nervously, "But uh… I'm doing completely fine by myself. Don't need anybody, thank you…" Myra just nodded, disappointment evident on her face. "Thank you," she whispered and quickly walked outside._

'_What's wrong with these people!' she screamed inwardly. 'Do I have to deal with this for the rest of my life? I'm a good person! I changed my life! For the better! Can't anyone see that?' She walked further down the street and walked into every store she came across. She would ask if there was work for her, but she got the same answer over and over. "No…" It was depressing. 'What am I going to tell Diane? I can't tell her AGAIN that I couldn't find myself a job… I can't be dependent on her for the rest of my life…' An advertisement in a window caught her eye so she stopped. "Girls Needed," it said. Myra looked up and realized she was standing in front of a saloon. "The Silver Bullet" the saloon was called. 'No, I'm NOT going to do this again!' she thought and walked further. 'But what else are ya going to do Myra?' a little voice inside her head asked her. 'If you do it, you'll earn money and ya won't be dependent on Diane anymore… You could buy things for Samantha… And Diane doesn't need to know!' _

_Before she knew it she had stepped inside the saloon. "Hey Missy," a man called to her from behind the bar. 'That must be the owner,' she thought. The arrogant look on his face was enough for her to state that fact. She had seen that same look on Hank's face way too many times. "Can I help you?" the man asked with a charming smile. Myra took in the man's sight. He was certainly handsome. He looked Hispanic. He had long black hair which he wore in a ponytail. His eyes were dark as well and his skin was tanned. "Uhm… I saw ya needed girls," Myra said. Inwardly she was cursing herself. 'Why am I doing this again? Why am I choosing this job again?' The man grinned at her. He made her feel very uncomfortable. She felt like he was undressing her with his eyes. "What's your name, pretty," he asked her as he moved sensually closer to her. "Myra," she said softly. "Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he said. The words almost made her vomit. "I'm Joe," he said, "I own this place." 'You're kidding me!' Myra thought sarcastically. "You're Mrs. Peterson's girl, aren't you?" he asked. Myra nodded. "So I heard you have experience." Myra sighed. "Look, I'll be honest with you," she said looking him straight in the eyes. "I'm not here because I'd like to whore myself again… I need money to take care of my daughter. Can't I just serve drinks and have a chat with the customers?" Joe laughed. "Sure!" he said to her surprise. "Really?" she asked in disbelief. "Of course," he said wrapping his arm around her. "Let's go upstairs so we can sign your contract," he said and walked towards the stairs. Myra followed him…_

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"_There's mommy again," Diane said to Samantha when she heard someone come in through the front door. "Hey sweetie," Myra called as Diane handed over Samantha. "You've been a good girl?" she asked. "Oh, she's been so adorable," Diane answered. "I wish you had more of these," She winked at Myra who smiled gently at her. "How did it go?" Diane asked. "Uh… it went alright," Myra said hesitantly. She hated to lie to the woman who had done so much for her. But she knew Diane would kick her out if she found out the truth. "I got the job," she said. A big smile appeared on Diane's face. "Oh, that's fantastic!" she exclaimed, "But why don't you look happy?" 'I don't?' Myra smiled briefly at the woman in front of her. "Well, the working hours aren't that great," she said, "I have to work late… I sometimes have to stay overnight to keep an eye on things…" She looked away. "Well, it's better than nothing," Diane replied, "And you know that I love to babysit Samantha! It will work out fine, you'll see!" Myra nodded and watched as Diane went to the kitchen to make some tea. 'I'm sorry Samantha, Diane…' she thought, 'I'm sorry that I have to lie to you… but I don't have a choice… At least now I'm making some money, although it's not much…' She sighed deeply and stroked her daughter's hair. She hoped the job at the saloon would be for just a few weeks. It had to be! She wouldn't be able to keep it a secret much longer than that; especially not in this town… Luckily Diane didn't come out much, so the chance she would find out soon wasn't that big. 'I'm doing this for you Samantha…' she thought, 'So I can give you the life you deserve… Only for you…'_

TBC

I hope I still got your interest! Please hit the review-button to tell me what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great! Hope you have a nice holiday!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter Warning: **There's quite a depressing scene in this chapter. Possibly M-rated. Don't like, don't read…

**Chapter 6**

"I can't believe you decided to work in a saloon again," Hank said shaking his head. "Me neither Hank," Myra answered, "But what was I supposed to do? Nobody wanted to give me a job… Nobody! And I wanted to be able to take care of Samantha myself… Don't ya understand?" She almost sounded desperate. Hank nodded at her. "I do…" he said to her, remembering his own son. How the whole town had judged him because of the way he had tried to make a living for his son. Myra lowered her head. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Ya alright?" Hank asked worriedly. "Just a bit dizzy," Myra replied softly, "It will pass… it always does…" "Ya mean ya have this often?" Hank looked at her questioningly. Myra sighed. She didn't need this right now. "I'm alright," she said. "Want to hear the rest of my story?" Hank nodded. "Sure, ya want some water?" Myra rolled her eyes. "Hank, I told ya I'm fine!" Hank held up his hands in defence. "Alright! Alright…" he said, "So, how did things work out at the saloon? That Joe guy didn't sound too good…" Myra chuckled. "No, he didn't turn out to be the man he appeared to be…" Then she looked serious. "He turned out to be even worse…"

_It had been two weeks since Myra had signed her contract. Since then, she had worked there almost every night. Joe had kept his word so far; she only had to serve drinks and chat with the customers. And clean up afterwards of course… Fortunately for her, it appeared that the saloon was mostly visited by people from outside of town. This meant that not many people in town knew she was working at the saloon, so she was still able to keep her work a secret for Diane. She hated lying to the elderly lady. At night after work she would sneak into the house as quietly as she could so she wouldn't wake Diane. Then she would go to the bathroom, wash herself and her clothes so they wouldn't reek of beer and tobacco anymore. But she had no choice… It was the only way for her to make a living right now…_

_Today Myra had to work again. Saturday night… She hated Saturday nights. People were much more annoying. Violent even… She hated how all the men grabbed at her body, like it was their property. The worst thing was that she wasn't allowed to say anything about it. Joe had made that very clear to her. "If the men have fun, it brings in more money, which makes you EARN more money… Don't you dare say 'no' to a customer…" he had said. The words had frightened her a bit. Did that mean she had to accept everything a customer did to her? Did all the girls around here have to accept that? A part of her was glad she only had to serve drinks. She didn't want to think about what it was like for the other girls who had to go 'all the way' with these men. She sighed and poured some more drinks. "Here you are," she said to the man who had ordered them. "Thanks beautiful," the man said. Myra smiled at the man, like she had been told. "Smile at every customer… Make them feel at home… Make them feel wanted… Make them spend their money…" Joe had said with a huge grin on his face._

_Myra watched as the man walked back to his table. He sat down and chatted with his friends again. From time to time he would look up and would watch Myra carefully. Myra pretended she didn't realize the man was watching her, however, she was very aware that the man had a certain interest in her. He had been watching her from the moment he had stepped into the saloon. It made her feel a bit uncomfortable. What did he want from her? She had tried to ignore him, but she felt his eyes on her the whole time. Suddenly she saw the man get up from his chair and walk towards Joe. He seemed to be asking Joe something, though she couldn't hear what it was. There was too much noise to figure out what he was saying. Then she saw Joe looking her way. He grinned at the man, said something to him and then they shook hands. It looked like they had just made a deal. 'About me?' Myra thought. They had both been looking at her while they had spoken to each other. She had a bad feeling about it…_

"_Myra!" The call of her name startled Myra from her thoughts. Joe was standing right beside her with a grin on his face. "What is it?" she asked him. "Do you know you got a fan?" he said to her, his grin never fading. He definitely wanted something from her. "You mean that man over there?" she asked and pointed at the table where her so called 'fan' was sitting at. Joe nodded. "He just offered me quite some money if he could have you all to himself for one night…" Joe said. Myra looked at him in disbelief. "I don't think so," she said and poured a drink for another customer. "Myra," Joe said with a chuckle, "I wasn't asking you… I already agreed to it… He will have you." Myra shook her head. "But that's not what we agreed!" she was starting to get angry, not to mention scared. Joe realized they were getting a lot of attention now that Myra had raised her voice. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into a private room. "You're hurting me!" she yelled, though Joe didn't pay any attention to it. "We didn't agree on anything, missy," he said to her and released her arm. "Yes you did," Myra protested. "You said that it was alright for me to just serve drinks and talk to customers." Joe laughed. "No," he said, "That's what you asked for… I said 'Sure!'… But I never said that you NEVER had to do anything else… That you never had to do what the other girls are doing here…" Myra was close to crying. "But what about the contract?" she said, her voice hoarse. "Nothing about it in the contract, darling," Joe said to her, "You do as I tell you… if not… you suffer the consequences…" His voice sounded threatening. "Ya gonna fire me?" Myra asked. "I could do that," Joe answered, "but what are you going to do then? You need the money for your daughter, right… You can't afford losing this job… Maybe I should teach you by the back of my hand… Or maybe spread some rumors about you in town, if ya quit this job yourself… It's your choice, missy." Myra looked at him helplessly. _

_Had he just threatened her? Didn't she have a choice in this matter? If she said no, Joe would definitely hurt her. How would she explain the bruises to Diane? He wouldn't fire her, because she was good for business. And he seemed to like having power over her. If she left on her own, he would spread rumours about her, which would definitely reach Diane's ears. Diane would kick her and Samantha out. What was she going to do then? Live on the street with her young infant? That wasn't an option, nor was letting herself being beat up by Joe. How she had misjudged him! She was actually starting to like him, thinking he was a bit like Hank. Rough exterior but nice on the inside. Well sometimes anyway… Now she feared Joe. Some girls had already warned her for him, but Myra had thought they were blowing things out of proportion. Now she realized they hadn't. 'I have no choice,' she thought miserably. 'I have to do this…' Tears welled up in her eyes. She had promised herself to never do this again and now she was forced to break that promise. "Alright," she whispered, "I'll do it…" Joe laughed. "Good girl," he said and wrapped an arm around her. "You won't regret it, pretty," he continued, "If you do a good job, I promise you'll get a bonus." _

_He walked her back to the main room where her customer was waiting. "Meet Myra," Joe said to the man, "She's all yours for tonight! Have fun!" The man nodded his thanks and took Myra's hand. "Let's go upstairs," he said with a grin. "Make me feel good…" Myra didn't say a word. She was too busy forcing herself not to cry. She followed the man up the stairs and then into an empty room. The man closed the door behind her. He moved closer to her and stroked her cheek. He was so close to her that she could feel his arousal growing in his pants. She tried to smile at him but failed miserably. "I can't do this," she whispered and tried to move away from him. "Oh no, beautiful," the man said and grabbed her by the arm. "I paid for you and you will give me what I want… one way or the other…" His voice was threatening and so was the look in his eyes. "Please don't hurt me," Myra whispered again. The man just laughed at her. "Oh, it doesn't have to hurt," he said with a devious smile. "That's completely up to you… We can do this the easy way or the hard way… Your choice!" Myra looked at him pleadingly, hoping he would have some humanity inside of him… hoping he would let her go. Then his smile faded. "The hard way it is then…" he said, his voice cold. He grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her on the bed. He positioned himself on top of her, ripping of her clothes. "You are going to make me feel good," he kept repeating over and over. Myra just closed her eyes. She tried to block the man out of her mind. Tried to think about other things. It was a trick she had used so many times before when she had been working at Hank's saloon. However, it didn't work this time. But things were different now. SHE was different now. She was a mother, a wife… 'Ex-wife…' She felt more disgusted with herself than she had ever felt before. She cried silently as the man had his way with her 'I'm so sorry Samantha,' she thought, tears falling down her cheeks. 'I'm so sorry… Forgive me… God, forgive me.' _

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_After an hour the man had left her. It had been the longest hour of her life. She had cried, but at some point she had stopped crying. At some point she just hadn't cared anymore. Now, she was all alone in the room, which now reeked of sex and blood. Her blood… She felt numb. Tired too… She was even too tired to cry. What time was it? She had to go home! She tried to get up from the bed. Her whole body ached and as she stood up she felt some hot liquid dripping down her inner thighs. Blood… among other things. "I need a bath," she whispered to herself. She felt dizzy, sick even… She stumbled towards the bathroom. As she opened the door she felt her stomach turn. She was able to grab a small bucket and then started to vomit into it. Tears ran down her cheeks again. She sat down on the ground and took a few deep breaths. She put the bucket aside and crawled to the bath which, to her surprise, was already filled with water. Maybe someone else had a bath before her, or maybe someone else was about to have a bath. Either way, Myra couldn't care less. She pulled herself up and stepped shakily into the bath. She sat down in it and closed her eyes for a moment as she saw the water turn red. Tears burned in her eyes again. 'I'm NOT going to cry,' she thought desperately and swallowed deeply. She grabbed a sponge and started to rub her skin. Gently at first, but then she sped up the pace, rubbing harder and harder. 'Can't get it off! Can't get it off!' Her breath was quickening, her eyes wide… She splashed water all over her body. She washed her hair three times and kept rubbing her skin with the sponge. Suddenly she heard a voice. "Myra? Are you in here?" It was one of the girls. Myra was close to panicking. What was she going to do? What was she going to say? 'They can't know…' Myra thought, 'I don't want them to know! I NEED to calm down…' She took a deep breath. "Yes I'm here," she said, trying to sound as casual as possible. "I'm taking a nice bath. I'll be right out!" "Alright!" The girl called back. Then there was silence. Myra sighed deeply. She needed to go home. It would be daylight soon and she couldn't afford Diane seeing her like this. Or Samantha… She stepped out of the bath and dried her self. She was still bleeding a bit and she could see bruises forming on her thighs, but she tried not to pay much attention to it. She was glad she had decided to wear a black skirt that day, so the possible blood stains wouldn't be visible. She put on her skirt and blouse, which miraculously weren't torn by the violent way the man had ripped them from her body. She brushed her hair and looked into the mirror. 'Okay, NOTHING has happened,' she thought, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again. 'NOTHING! I'm fine… I'm alright… I feel good… Nothing happened… Nothing…' She sighed, turned around and left the room. She put on her biggest smile and went home. 'Home…'_

TBC

R&R please! Hit the blue button and tell me what you thought of this chapter…


	7. Chapter 7

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Sorry it took so long for me to update! Work has been really, really busy lately end it will be for at least another 4 weeks, so please bear with me!

**Chapter 7**

Both Hank and Myra were quiet for a moment. Hank's eyes were filled with anger; however, he didn't say a word. He felt bad, not just for Myra, but also about himself. Had his own girls been hurt the way Myra had been hurt? Had he forced his girls into something they didn't want to do? He knew some of his girls liked their job, but there were also plenty of them who did it because they had no choice. Like Myra… He came to the conclusion that he was no better than this Joe guy. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You ain't like him, Hank" Myra said softly. Hank looked up to meet her eyes. She smiled at him gently. "You care about yer girls," she continued. "You always made sure no one would _manhandle the merchandise_." Hank had to smile as Myra mimicked the words he used to say. "But still, ya didn't like the work," he said to her. Myra shook her head. "No I didn't," she replied, "I think it's the most humiliating job a woman can have. Believe me; whoring yourself doesn't make a woman feel good about herself. Well… it didn't make me feel good. But believe me when I say that you have never treated any of your girls as bad as Joe treated his!" She fell silent.

Meanwhile Hank repeated Myra's words in his head. They did make him feel a bit better about himself; however, he still had a lot to think about. _Maybe I should let the girls out of their contract, _he thought. _Maybe I should find another way to make a living… _He decided to think about these things later. They were giving him a headache. Besides, he was here to listen to Myra._ Myra…_ His heart broke just thinking of her name. The things she had been through. Nevertheless, it seemed her story wasn't finished yet. "I'm sorry about what happened to ya," he said softly, not knowing what else to say to her. Myra nodded. "Yeah, me too," she whispered. "So what happened then?" Hank was almost afraid to ask the question. A part of him didn't want to know what other horrible things had happened to her. He didn't show it to her though. _I will listen to her_, he thought; _I owe her at least that… _Myra sighed. "What happened then?" she repeated the question. "Well, my biggest fear at that moment came true… Diane found out the truth…"

_Diane sat on a chair in her living room with a cup of tea in her hands. She stared into the cup, lost in thought. What was she going to do? What was she going to do about Myra? She had noticed some change in the young woman a few weeks ago. She had begun to look tired, sad even. However, every time when Diane had asked her what was wrong Myra had smiled and had said everything was fine. There had been other things as well. Nightmares, inconsolable crying in the middle of the night, the scent of beer and tobacco… and the bruises. Myra had hid them well, but from time to time Diane had seen them. They had been on her arms and neck… and God knows where else. A couple of days ago it had hit Diane when she saw Myra coming down the stairs. This young woman wasn't happy! She looked like she could cry at any given moment. What had caused this? And only then had Diane realized that Myra could have some secrets of her own. That she wasn't telling Diane everything._

_Diane had been determined to find out what was going on. Why was Myra unhappy? What caused the bruises? Could having a job at a bank really be this dangerous? Did Myra actually have a job at a bank? More questions had filled her head as she had realized that many of Myra's actions or explanations of the last few weeks just didn't make any sense. Diane had never heard of a bank that had his employees work at night. And if the place needed security they would probably use trained guards, right? It had also hit her that Myra had never really told her the name of the bank she was supposed to be working at. "It's a small bank on the other side of town," was the only thing Myra had ever said about it. And what was with the smell of liquor and tobacco? She had smelled it every morning when she entered the bathroom. Diane had really started to doubt all the things Myra had told her and had decided to investigate._

_She had visited every bank she could find in St. Louis, asking whether there was a Myra working there. Her suspicions had been confirmed when everyone had told her 'no'. 'Then where DID Myra work?' she had asked herself. Thinking of the bruises and the stench of beer and cigars she feared the worst. 'She couldn't be doing that again? Could it be Myra was working at a saloon again?' A part of her didn't want to know. But she HAD to find out. Not just for herself, but for Samantha. The child didn't deserve this. So Diane had visited every saloon she could find asking people about Myra. She had felt ashamed doing this. A wealthy woman like herself shouldn't be asking questions in a saloon! This would ruin her reputation in town… Then she had arrived at the "Silver Bullet". The place had disgusted her. Especially the kind of men she found there; rude, dirty and far from wealthy. Fortunately most of them had seemed to be from out of town, so no one had recognized her. She had asked the owner whether there was a Myra working at his place and to her dismay he had said 'yes'. _

_What had happened after that would be forever etched in her memory. The owner had dared the customers to talk about Myra. To tell him and Diane what kind of woman she was. What they had done with her… how fiery she was and how she made all of them feel good. She had forced herself to listen to it for a few minutes, but then it had been enough. She had run from the saloon, feeling disgusted with herself, with these men and with Myra. So she had done it again. She was a whore again… And she had lied. Lied to Diane… the woman who had taken her into her home and had given her the things she needed. She couldn't believe the way Myra had misled her!_

_And there she was now, sitting in her chair, thinking of what to do. She didn't want Myra in her home anymore, that was for sure. She didn't want to live with someone she couldn't trust; someone who didn't tell her the truth. Someone who was whoring herself… But what about Samantha? Diane adored Samantha. 'I can't kick her out too,' she thought, 'the girl doesn't deserve that… And she doesn't deserve to have a mother like this either… She deserves better than that! She doesn't have to pay for her mother's mistakes! Poor baby…' Diane thought about things over and over and eventually decided that there was only one thing she could do. She would make arrangements right away…_

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_With some bags in her hands Myra walked back to the house where she lived. She had just gone to the mercantile to buy some food and drinks and was now on her way home. She had taken her time with it; she had left the home almost two hours ago. She sighed. Living with Diane wasn't as it used to be anymore, and not just because she had to lie to the elderly woman. Diane had changed over the last two weeks. She wasn't as sweet and kind like she used to be. Well, not to Myra anyway… She felt like Diane was ignoring her. She hardly spoke to Myra and the times she did speak, her voice had been cold. Myra feared the worst. 'Diane knows… she knows my secret…' and she knew one day Diane would confront her with it._

_Myra finally reached the house. She took a deep breath before walking to the door. She felt like she was living with a time bomb, however, she had no idea when it would go off. But it would go off sooner or later, and the thought frightened her. What would happen to her then? To her and Samantha? Diane would definitely kick her out of the house. There was no doubt about that. A wealthy woman like her would not dare to live in the same house with a whore. Myra opened the door and walked inside. After closing the door behind her she walked to the kitchen and put the bags on the kitchen table. Then Myra looked up. Something was wrong; something was missing, but she couldn't put her finger on it. _

_She walked out of the kitchen into the hallway and pricked up her ears. Then she noticed it: silence. To her it was an uncomfortable silence. As a mother she was used to hearing her child, especially at this time of day. Myra felt her stomach knot. She kept telling herself that maybe Diane had brought Samantha to her room. Maybe Samantha had gotten tired while playing and needed to go to sleep for a few hours. However, her mother instinct told her otherwise. _

_She quickly ran up the stairs to her daughter's room. She opened the door and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that the room was completely empty. "Oh God!" Myra exclaimed, choking back a sob. "Samantha!" she called and hurried off the stairs again. Myra was close to panicking, though her mind kept telling her that there must be a very good explanation for all of this. "Samantha!" she called again when she entered the living room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Diane sitting on the couch, giving her a cold, penetrating look. _

"_Diane," Myra said, fear evident in her eyes, "where's Samantha?" Meanwhile, Myra's eyes darted around the room and to her horror she realized that also in this room Samantha's things were gone. Diane, on the other hand, never took her eyes of Myra. "You lied to me," Diane said, her voice cold. Myra looked back at Diane. "W… What do ya mean?" she said nervously. Diane just smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "Your job," Diane said, "you don't work at a bank." Myra didn't say a word. 'This was it,' she thought, 'the time bomb would finally blow…' "I got suspicious a few weeks ago," Diane continued, "The bathroom reeking of liquor and tobacco, the bruises on your body, you working late… It must be some bank you were working at… So I thought I'd investigate a little… I visited every bank in town and you know what?" Myra lowered her head. She knew exactly what Diane had found out. Diane stood up from the couch before continuing her speech: "No one ever heard of girl working there with the name of Myra… However… at the 'Silver Bullet' they seemed quite familiar with your name…" _

_Myra looked up to meet Diane's eyes. "But ya don't understand!" Myra called. She was close to tears. Diane, however, had no compassion for her. "I understand all too well Myra," she said to the woman in front of her. "No one would offer you a job so you decided to do the only job you're good at!" Myra shook her head. "That's not true! I had no choice Diane! I didn't want to be dependent on you anymore," she tried to explain. "I wanted to be able to take care of myself… I wanted to take care of Samantha myself!" "By whoring yourself?" Diane interrupted her. "There is always a choice Myra! I didn't mind to take care of you… of Samantha… I never had a daughter or a granddaughter for that matter… I LOVED taking you into my house! And this is how you repay me? How am I going to explain this to my friends, my family? To your mother! She was so happy that you were finally able to turn your life around… and now you're doing it AGAIN! I'm glad she isn't alive anymore to see you like this… The humiliation it would have caused her…" Diane's words pierced through Myra's heart. Tears streamed down her face and she looked at Diane helplessly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "You could have waited, you know," Diane said, "I wouldn't have mind taking care of you a bit longer… A good job would have gotten your way eventually…" Diane's voice was soft for a moment, but the cold, penetrating gaze never faded. _

_Then Diane turned around to grab something from behind the couch. She turned to Myra again and handed her a suitcase. Myra looked at it and then back at Diane. "What's this?" she whispered. "Your things," Diane replied. Myra hesitantly took the suitcase from Diane's hand. She nodded in defeat, realizing what Diane was trying to tell her with this suitcase. She had to leave. Diane was kicking her out of the house. "Where's Samantha?" Myra asked and looked Diane straight in the eyes. "Diane looked away. "She's not here," she said. "Where is she?" Myra repeated the question impatiently. Diane met Myra's eyes again. "Do you really think you can give her the life she deserves?" Diane started. Myra looked at her questioningly. What was Diane talking about? "You are a whore!" Diane called and saw Myra flinch at the words. "And guess who will pay most for what you are? Samantha will… People will forever see her as the child of that whore… Children will laugh at her, tease her… they don't want to be friends with her… she will be an outcast… like you…" Myra felt anger and fear building up inside of her. What was Diane telling her? "Where's my daughter?" she said, her voice almost a whisper. "What did you do?" Diane just smiled. "I decided to give her the life she deserves," she answered. Myra was dumbfounded. "W… What?" she managed to say while her mind raced. Was Diane telling her what she thought she was telling her? "Where are you going to live Myra?" Diane continued. "What kind of life can you give Samantha? What will you feed her? Do you really earn that much at that saloon, that you can give her everything she needs? Food, clothes, toys? Will she be able to go to school? Who takes care of her when you have to 'work', Myra? She deserves better than what you will be able to give her, don't you think?" _

"_Where is she," Myra whispered. Diane sighed. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?" she said annoyed. "She's better off now, Myra! She's with a family now that CAN give her what she needs… what she deserves…" Myra's world started to spin as realization struck her. "You can't take away my child!" she screamed at Diane. She fell down to her knees. Diane looked down at her in contempt. "Think about it Myra," she said, her voice colder than it had ever been. "I'm about to send you away… I don't want you living here in my house… You deceived me, lied to me… You may have ruined my reputation in this town… But what about you? Where are you going to live? What kind of life can you afford with the little money you have? You won't even be able to take care of yourself! Let alone take care of a child… Do you really want to do that to your child? Don't you think she deserves better? As a mother you should want what's best for your child… Don't you want what's best for Samantha?" Myra cried inconsolably. "I do…" she whispered eventually. Diane smiled. It was a cold, contemptuous smile. "Then you should be grateful," Diane stated, "I just did you a favour… And now I want you out of my house…" Myra looked up at the woman standing in front of her. She looked at her helplessly, desperately. But she could see Diane did not feel for her. Myra nodded and stood up. She grabbed the suitcase and turned around quietly. Then she walked away._

_Once outside the house she fell on her knees again. She cried, repeating her daughter's name over and over. 'Samantha…' Wails of despair filled the air, but no one seemed to care. She was alone, all alone…_

TBC

Ow, sniff… Poor Myra! Well, what do you think? PLEASE, tell me!


	8. Chapter 8

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

I'm so sorry it took so long! But real life has been crazy lately, especially at work. I'm dead tired to be honest and I just can't bring myself to post a chapter. Sleep is the only thing on my mind right now... Sorry! But today I have a day off and decided I couldn't keep you all waiting any longer! So here's the next chapter!

**Chapter 8**

"What! She can't do that!" Hank had stood up from is chair and was now fuming with anger. "That b…" "Hank!" Myra interrupted him. "Diane did what she thought was right for Samantha!" Hank shook is head. "The hell she did," he said angrily, "She did what was right for her so called reputation…" They were both quiet for a moment. Then Myra said: "Think about it Hank, I could never have given Samantha a good life… not with the job I had and the money I made… It wouldn't have been fair to her…" Myra looked down in defeat. "Still, taking away yer child like that was wrong…" Hank said. "You don't hate me?" Myra asked hesitantly, afraid to meet Hank's eyes. "Are ya kidding me?" Hank called out. "That woman took advantage of yer vulnerability. You were already feeling bad about yerself and she took that to her advantage! She made ya feel even worse, and made ya think that Samantha would be better off without ya!" Hank was still mad. He couldn't believe this Diane had taken away Myra's child. He was a father himself, and he could only imagine what it would be like if someone would take away your child. To a parent, your child is everything! It's your world… and if someone would take that away, it would be like ripping out your heart. If he would ever meet this woman… For the second time today he decided to put his feelings of revenge aside and to focus on Myra again who seemed to be very relieved by what he had just said.

"So, is this how ya ended up on the streets?" Hank asked. "Partly," Myra answered and sighed. Again she looked sad and hurt. "I was an emotional wreck Hank… I thought my life couldn't get any worse! I couldn't even find a reason to live anymore…"

_Myra sat in her room at the saloon. She had asked Joe if she could live there for a while. He had agreed, however she had to promise to him that she would be available to customers every hour of the day. Myra had just nodded. She couldn't have cared less. And so she had been available; letting every man inside her room who wanted her. She had let them do whatever they wanted to do with her. She would just lie down on the bed, staring into the distance, her mind empty. Numb… The customers had noticed the change in her and they hadn't liked it one bit. She was no fun at all anymore. So they would choose another girl. Some had even demanded their money back. _

_Myra sat on the bed and stared at the wall. Another angry customer had just left the room. "Could ya at least smile a little?" he had asked her. "Maybe make a sound?" he had been annoyed with her silence and her unemotional stare. He had even slapped her in the face, but Myra wouldn't move. She hadn't even blinked. "Hell!" he said angrily, "Sleeping with a piece of wood would be more fun than sleeping with you! I'm getting myself another girl…" Then he had left. Myra had sighed as he closed the door behind him. She knew she had chased him away, but she just couldn't help it. She had no reason to make him stay anymore. No reason to make money… The only reason she did this job was for Samantha and now Samantha was gone… 'Samantha…'_

_She had been so angry with Diane at first, but then she had realized that Diane had done the right thing. 'I'm a lousy mother… I can't give Samantha the life she deserves… She deserves better… She's better off now…' Many thoughts wandered around in her mind. Negative thoughts… about herself… Thoughts which sent her further into depression. 'I'm worthless… I'm not even good at THIS job… I'm not good at anything… Can't even take care of my child… Can't even take care of myself… I lost Samantha because of my own stupidity… my own incompetence… I'm so sorry Samantha! I'm sorry Horace… Horace… I'm sorry I took your daughter away… I'm sorry that you will never see your daughter again… It's all my fault… I don't deserve… I don't deserve to live…' Tears suddenly streamed down her cheeks. She hadn't felt this miserable in her entire life. Everything she had ever had, everything she had ever treasured was gone… And there was no way she would get it back… She didn't know how. Every reason for all the things she did was gone, so why was she still doing these things? There was no meaning to her life anymore. So why keep on living?_

_She put her hand in one of her pockets and took a piece of glass from it. She had grabbed it from the floor a couple of days ago, after a fight had occurred at the saloon. Some men had gotten into a fight with each other and had thrown glasses at one another. Myra had searched for some sharp pieces and had put them in her pocket. 'They could come in handy one day,' she had thought. She looked intensely at the piece of glass in her hand. So small, but yet so dangerous. 'It's time…' she thought and put the piece of glass against her wrist. _

_The first cut hurt a lot, but she didn't dare to scream. The pain was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart. And she wanted it to be over… No more pain… No more sadness… She kept cutting her wrist with the piece of glass over and over… Her blood spilled over her clothes and over the sheets on the bed; but it didn't bother her. It relieved her… the feeling that it would all be over soon felt like heaven to her. Tears streamed down her face again. 'Almost over…' she thought, 'Almost over… I love you Samantha… I'll always love you… But it's better this way…' Then her world went black…_

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_When she opened her eyes again she saw a bright light. Was she in heaven? Then she felt someone tugging at her arm. She looked aside and to her surprise she saw Joe sitting next to her. She looked around again and then realized she was in Joe's room, in his bed. "Wha… What happened?" she asked, her voice hoarse. "Want some water?" Joe asked her. Myra nodded and sat up. "Don't ya remember what happened?" Joe asked as he handed her a glass of water. When she was about to take the glass from Joe's hands she saw a bandage around her wrist. Then it all came back to her again… She took some sips from the water and then lowered her head in shame. _

"_So, you decided to kill yourself?" Joe said bluntly. Myra didn't dare to look at him. "Took you long enough," he continued, "However… you failed. The doctor said the cuts weren't deep enough for you to bleed to death… So it seems you're still stuck to this world…" The way he spoke brought chills down Myra's spine. He was making fun of her! He was making fun of her pain… of her suffering! "I HATE you…" she said through her teeth and looked at him for a brief moment. "Yeah, well… I'm not too fond of you either anymore," he said and shot her one of his devious smiles. "You're bad for my business, pretty," he said to her. "You're chasing the customers away… In other words, I can't use you anymore… So I decided to sell you to another saloon… one in Denver…" Myra looked at him in shock. "You're selling me?" she fumed at him. "I'm not a THING… not your property!" Joe just chuckled. "You are my property, darling," he answered, "You became my property the moment you signed that contract… And now I'm selling your contract to another saloon owner… So instead of working for me, you will be working for him…" Myra shook her head in disbelief. "How dare you!" she yelled at him. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Joe said and stroked her cheek briefly. Myra instinctively moved her head away from him. "Don't you worry," he said again and laughed, "Everything's already been takin' care of… The man will pick you up in three days… You'll travel to Denver with him by train… tickets have already been bought… So, if there are people you want to say goodbye to… you've got three days… And I'll be watching you closely these three days, Myra… No more suicidal attempts under this roof! You will not ruin the last chance I have to make some money from you…" After he finished his speech he stood up and left the room. Myra lay down on the bed again and cried silently…_

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_Myra looked outside the train window. The saloon owner from Denver sat opposite her. She had already forgotten his name. 'Who cares about his name anyway,' she thought. The man had seemed nice, well nicer than Joe had been. He had tried to make a normal conversation with her, but Myra just hadn't felt like talking. They had left St. Louis hours ago. A part of Myra had felt relieved, however, another part of her had felt incredibly sad. She was glad she could leave the place behind where she had suffered so much. On the other hand, the chance she would ever see Samantha again was getting smaller with every mile she got closer to Denver._

_After a few hours they finally reached their destination. Her new boss grabbed her gently by the arm and guided her outside. Myra looked around when they set foot on the train station. It had been a while since she had last been in Denver. Without saying a word they walked away from the station. Her new boss was nice enough to carry her suitcase in which she had packed some clothes. Myra herself carried a smaller bag in which she held the things she held dear: a picture of Samantha, some letters from Horace and her wedding ring. _

_They reached one of the main roads of the city. "Wait a minute," the man said, "I'll try to catch us a ride to my saloon." He walked a few feet away from her looking for a carriage. Myra looked around, feeling a little bit lost in this big city. She wondered how her life was going to look like here. 'Well, it probably won't be that much different from the life at the saloon in St. Louis,' she thought sadly. 'Why am I still doing this? There's no reason I should still be doing this… I CAN'T do this anymore…' Suddenly it hit her. This was her chance! Her new boss had walked away from her! She was out of his sight! She could make a run for it! 'But to where?' she wondered but then thought: 'Who cares!' She made up her mind within seconds. She turned around and ran…_

TBC

Oh, so much drama for poor Myra… I just love writing drama! Strange, because I am in fact a very happy person! Well, most of the time that is… Reviews please!


	9. Chapter 9

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 9**

"So I ran…" Myra said, "I ran as fast as I could…" She looked up at Hank and smiled at him. "So that's how I ended up here." Hank nodded. Her story had overwhelmed him. Every time he thought that it couldn't get any worse Myra would tell him something else that would completely stun him. _How is it possible that someone could go through so much in so little time? _He sighed and looked back at Myra. He still had many questions for her. "But why live on the streets Myra?" he asked her. "Why didn't ya look for a job here? Try to get yerself out of this mess?" Myra shrugged. "I… I don't know Hank," she answered. "I was just so depressed… lost… I couldn't find a reason to make things better for me… couldn't bring myself to it…" She hung her head. Hank looked at her and thought she looked younger than he had ever seen her. Almost childlike… He felt so sorry for her.

"Why didn't ya ask us for help? Why didn't ya ask Horace?" Hank's voice was soft. He didn't want to make her to think that he was judging her. He was just wondering why she had made these decisions. Myra sighed at the question. "I just…" she started. She looked at him helplessly and shook her head. "I don't know… I didn't want to bother anyone I guess… didn't want to be a burden… Maybe I was a bit stubborn as well. I tried so hard proving to everyone that I could take care of myself, that I was afraid to tell that I actually couldn't…" She fell silent. "Ya shouldn't have let yer pride get in the way," Hank said softly. She looked at him in disbelief. "Look who's talking," she muttered and shot Hank an annoying look. Hank however grinned and winked at her. "Hey, I learned it the hard way," he said jokingly but gently at the same time. Eventually Myra smiled shyly and said: "Yeah, me too…"

Suddenly Hank stood up from his chair, grabbed his coat and walked towards the door. "Where are you going?" Myra asked him questioningly. "I'm going to buy you a train ticket to Colorado Springs," he said. "No!" Myra yelled as Hank was about to open the door. She jumped up from the bed and shot Hank a pleading look. Hank was stunned. "Ya don't want to keep on living like this, do ya?" he asked her in disbelief. Myra shook her head. "No… No I don't," she answered and looked away. "Then what's the problem?" Hank asked her. Myra was silent for a moment. Then she shyly looked up at him again and said: "It's not that simple, Hank…" Hank continued to look her in the eyes. "Yes it is," he answered and opened the door. "No, wait!" Myra called, "I can't do with you… I…" She sighed deeply. "It's just not that simple…" she said finally. Hank closed the door again and moved towards her. "Is there something yer not telling me?" he asked her looking her straight in the eye. Myra looked back at him briefly but then looked away. "Please let me go Hank," she whispered, "You promised you would let me go…" Hank shrugged. "So I lied!" he answered shamelessly. Myra tried to walk past him to the door but was stopped by Hank as he grabbed her by the arm.

"Myra," he said and forced her to meet his gaze. "Ya can't expect me to turn my back on ya now… not after everythin' ya just told me!" Myra was close to tears. "Hank…" she said as she tried to pull away from his grasp. But Hank didn't let her go and continued his speech. "If ya are worried about Horace or anyone else in town, I promise, they'll understand. I'll make them understand! You shouldn't be afraid of that…" Myra shook her head again. "It's not that…" she said softly. "Then what is it?" Hank answered slightly annoyed. "Ya can tell me, ya know ya can…" He looked at her with such care and tenderness it almost broke Myra's heart. Hank was showing a side of himself now he hardly showed to anyone. Myra had been one of the few lucky people to have seen it a few times. It always made her happy. It confirmed that there was indeed a human being underneath the rough and rude exterior. "What is it?" Hank asked her again, his voice very soft this time. _God, I can't tell him…_ Myra thought while she was fighting back the tears that were about to fall from her eyes. _I can't tell him… I can't tell anyone… But he deserves to know… After everything I just told him… _She sighed deeply and trembled a little. Hank could see she was nervous. And so was he… Whatever she was going to tell him, it wouldn't be anything good…

"I'm dying…" she finally said. Hank's eyes went wide as she said it. "What?" was all he could say and immediately let go of Myra's arm. Myra watched his facial expression carefully, not daring to say anything else. Meanwhile, Hank's mind raced. _Did she just tell me she was dying? Myra's_ _going to die? No… No! But how? Why? _"Are ya sure?" he whispered and Myra nodded in response. He turned away from her briefly, still processing the devastating news. "What's wrong with ya?" he asked her when he faced her again. "I don't know," Myra answered. Hank looked at her confused. "Ya mean ya never saw a doctor?" he asked. Myra shook her head. "Then how do ya know yer dying?" he asked, feeling a small sparkle of hope inside of him. If she never saw a doctor then it was possible she was wrong, right?

"I… I just feel it Hank," she replied. Her facial expression was sad which worried Hank again. "I feel that there's something inside my body and it's killing me… I just feel it… Pain… Dizziness… And it's getting worse every day. Some days are better than others… Today, for example, has been a good day… But I'll never know how I'll feel tomorrow." Hank listened to her words and felt sad. What if she was right? He thought that it couldn't get any worse for her, but again she proved that it could. He was sure he heard his heart break. But what if she was wrong? She would be throwing the rest of her life away! "The more reason to come with me, don't ya think?" he answered. "Michaela could check ya out. Maybe things aren't as bad as ya think…" He gave her a determined look and Myra knew she had to go with him. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment. "Please Myra," Hank tried one more time. "If ya really want to stop living like this, this is yer chance… This is yer chance to make things right for yerself… Don't ya think it's time to do what is right for YOU? Stop living yer life for other people Myra… Start living it for yerself…"

Myra knew he was right. She repeated his words over and over in her head and realized he was right. But would she be able to face everyone again? All these people she'd once left behind. Would she be able to face Horace again? Would he be able to handle the things she had to tell him? Could she do that to him? It would hurt him so much! _No Myra! You're doing it again… _she said to herself. _Stop worrying about other people! Start taking care of yourself! I have to do this… I have to do this for myself… To make me feel happy about myself again… To make amends… To find redemption… So I can die happy and peacefully… _"Alright," she whispered, "I'm going with ya…" She smiled at Hank who returned it with a brilliant smile of his own. And for the first time in a long time Myra didn't feel so alone anymore…

TBC

Not a long chapter, but I hope you all liked it! Please let me know!


	10. Chapter 10

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 10**

Myra sat next to Hank in the train which would bring them to Colorado Springs. She was nervous. It had been years since she'd last been there. What would it look like now? Would the townspeople still know her? Would they judge her for the things she had done? Would Horace judge her? _Horace…_ She closed her eyes as she thought about the man she once loved so much. The man who had loved her more than anything! Deep in her heart she still loved him, but they had grown apart so she had decided to leave him. She still didn't regret it, despite the fact that her life had gone downhill since then. Within a few hours she would see Horace again. It scared her more than anything. Not only would she be messing up his life again, but she would also have to tell him that she had lost their daughter. _He will hate me…_

Hank looked at the woman next to him who seemed to be very lost in thought. He could only imagine what was going through her mind right now. He knew she was worried about how the townspeople would react to her story. So was he… Would they judge her? What would Horace say? Would he turn his back on her? He knew some of the townsfolk could be very unreasonable. _I'll make them understand, Myra…_ he thought. _Don't ya worry… _But there was one thing that was worrying Hank more than anything: _Is she really sick? Is she really going to die? She can't die… Not now that I've found her again… She can't…_ He sighed deeply and prayed silently that Michaela would prove Myra wrong.

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Myra felt her stomach turn when the train finally arrived in Colorado Springs. "Oh God," she whispered and took a few deep breaths to overcome her nausea. "Ya alright?" Hank asked, worry evident on his face. "I'm okay," Myra answered, "Just give me a sec…" After a minute or so she stood up slowly and followed Hank towards the exit. _This was it, _she thought nervously. _The moment of truth… _Hank helped her from the train. She looked around and saw that nothing much had changed since the last time she had been here. "Ya ready?" Hank asked her. Myra nodded. "Let's go then," he said softly and beckoned her to follow him. Myra looked around again, but didn't see anyone she knew. She took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, the sun warming her face. She couldn't help but smile. She was home again…

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It had been a busy day for Horace. Many people had stopped by to send telegrams or to buy a train ticket. Many telegrams had arrived at Colorado Springs as well and they all had to be sorted out. Horace was about to close up when he heard someone knock against the window. "Now what?" Horace murmured under his breath. He wanted to go home. He wanted to eat supper and go to bed. He was dead tired. He turned around to see Hank standing in front of the ticket window. _Oh, not now! _Horace thought miserably. Horace had just gotten used to the fact that the rude saloon owner had left town for a few days. It had been pure bliss for Horace. For a few days no one had been mocking him, no one had been making fun of him. And now his tormenter was back. "Hello Hank," Horace said, his voice cold. He had given up being nice to Hank. The man was never nice to him either. "Hey Horace," Hank said with a wide grin on his face. He loved to annoy Horace. He simply couldn't help it. In the beginning he had annoyed Horace out of jealousy and anger. Why did Myra love Horace and not Hank? It had been a fact which Hank hadn't been able to comprehend. However, eventually Hank had accepted the fact that Myra had lost her heart to the telegraph clerk. From that moment Hank decided to tease Horace just for the fun of it. "What do you want, Hank? I'm about to close up," Horace said. Hank shrugged. "I don't want anything Horace," Hank replied, "I'm here because I have a surprise for ya!" _Oh no… I hate surprises! Especially when they're from Hank… _"Hank, I don't have time to play games," Horace said obviously annoyed. "I'm not here to play games, Horace," Hank said and looked at Horace seriously. The change in Hank's facial expression worried Horace a little. "What is it?" Horace asked. "Close up and go home," Hank said to him, "I'll see you there in an hour… I hope yer not planning on going to sleep anytime soon, 'cause you've got a long night ahead of ya." With that Hank turned around and walked away, leaving a puzzled Horace behind.

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Horace sat at the dining table in his home. He had just eaten supper and was now waiting for Hank to arrive with the so called 'surprise'. He would have a 'long night ahead of him'. At least that was what Hank had said. He didn't like the sound of it. What was Hank up to this time? Had the barkeep been making fun of him again? He thought back to their small conversation and then remembered the serious, stern look Hank had given him. It had worried him. Something told him that whatever Hank's 'surprise' was it would be one he wouldn't easily forget. He looked up when he heard someone knock on the door. _That must be Hank…_

Horace opened the door and was greeted by one of Hank's annoying grins. "Good evening Hank," Horace said. "Good evening Horace," Hank replied, his grin never fading. Horace beckoned him to get inside, but Hank stayed where he was. Horace sighed. "You said you had a surprise for me," Horace said impatiently. "Just show me what it is… have your fun and then leave please…" Again Hank's facial expression changed. He gave Horace a penetrating look. "You know I went to Denver a few days ago, to visit my son," Hank started. Horace nodded. _Where is this going?_ "I walked into someone when I was there…" Hank continued, "I walked into someone we both know actually… However, this person has changed… a lot… been through lots of horrible stuff… stuff ya can't even imagine, Horace… I took her back to Colorado Springs with me…" _Her?_ "She wants to tell ya her story… because she thinks ya deserve to know… All I want to ask ya, is to listen to her… don't judge her until she's told ya everything… Try to understand her…" Horace looked at Hank questioningly. What was this about? Who could this person be Hank had walked into? This woman… Hank obviously cared for this woman; he could see it in his eyes and he could hear it in the way Hank talked. With his speech Hank hadn't just asked Horace to listen to this woman, he had also warned him. _You hurt her and ya have to deal with me! _"Who…" Horace started, but didn't get the chance to finish the question as he heard another voice calling his name. "Horace…" He looked away from Hank to where the voice was coming from. His jaw dropped when he stood face to face with the woman he had equally loved and hated for so many years. "Myra?" he whispered. "Is that really you?" She looked terrible; hardly resembling the woman he once knew.

To Myra, seeing Horace again after so many years was overwhelming. She felt the earth move, the world started to spin… She slowly moved towards the man she once loved. The man she still loved… "Oh Horace!" she exclaimed, "There's so much I have to tell you!" Tears fell from her eyes as she tried to make her way to Horace. Hank saw her sway and ran towards her to catch her as she fainted. Hank swept her up into his arms and walked past Horace who was still dumbfounded. "Git inside…" Hank called to him as he carried Myra into the home which had been hers, once upon a time…

TBC

Hope you all like this chapter! Tell me what you think of it please!


	11. Chapter 11

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Thanks for all the lovely reviews everyone! I really appreciate it! Thank you!

**Chapter 11**

Horace sat on a chair and stared into the distance, lost in thought. Hank had been right; it had been a long, long night… Myra had told him her story and he had been completely overwhelmed by it. He still was… The things she had been through, the things she had to do to survive, it was almost too much to comprehend. And above all, she had lost their daughter. He didn't know whether to be angry with her or not. He shook his head as parts of the conversation he had with her this night flashed through his mind again.

"_I decided to work at a saloon again… I made so many mistakes, Horace! He hurt me… I tried to kill myself… I lost Samantha… They took her away from me… Samantha…" _ Myra's words echoed through his head. He had screamed at her. _"You what!" _ Hank had jumped up at the scream and with his penetrating stare he had demanded Horace to keep his calm. _"Let her finish, Horace,"_ he had said. So he had let her finish her story. It had been devastating; heartbreaking. And when he had thought that it couldn't get any worse she had told him she was dying. _"I'm dying…"_ Horace had just leaned back in his chair, looking dumbfounded. Silence… There had been a long silence. Eventually Myra had asked: _"Are you mad at me?" _Her voice had been soft and scared. _"I… I don't know…" _he had answered. _"I… Could you please leave me alone for a while?" _Myra had nodded, looking dead tired. Hank had offered her to go with hem to the saloon. _"I have a spare room there… Ya can stay there for the night…" _Myra had agreed and then they had left.

Horace's mind was racing. Dozens of questions filled his mind. _Why didn't she come to me? Why didn't she ask me for help? Why did you have to be so stubborn, Myra? You didn't have to do these things… Look where it's gotten you… Why? Where's Samantha? _A loud knock on the door shook him from his thoughts. "Who could it be at this hour?" Horace murmured to himself. He didn't feel like answering the door so he stayed where he was, on his chair. "Horace, I know you're there," he heard Hank call from the other side of the door. _Damn… _Horace stood up and opened the door. "What do you want?" Horace asked, his voice cold. Hank just shrugged. "I figured you would have a lot of things to think about… Maybe have some questions… Maybe you'd like to talk…" Hank smiled softly. "Why would I want to talk to you?" Horace asked. _Good point, _Hank thought sarcastically. "Look Horace," Hank said, "I know we've never been the best of friends, but I care about Myra too… And she told me her story as well… Maybe I can answer some questions… I know I had plenty of them when she was done talking… And I guess ya deserve some answers…" Horace nodded and beckoned Hank to get inside.

The sat down opposite each other. Hank looked at Horace who looked down at the floor. "So…" Hank started, "Are you mad at her?" Horace looked up and shook his head. "I don't know," he answered, "I really don't know…" He was quiet for a moment. He felt a bit weird, talking about Myra to Hank like that. He couldn't help but think that Hank was here to make fun of him again. That he was here to see him being miserable. He looked into the barkeep's eyes and was surprised when he saw that serious look again. That same look he had seen earlier that night. It was a sincere look, one of trust and compassion. Horace smiled inwardly. _Who would have thought I would ever see the day…_ However, it made him feel more comfortable and suddenly he felt the incredible need to talk.

"I just don't understand!" he started. "Why didn't she contact me, or you for that matter? We would have helped her, right?" Hank nodded. "That's what I told her," Hank said, "She said she wanted to prove that she could make a living on her own… but she was afraid to ask for help when she realized she couldn't…" Horace sighed. "Why does she always have to be so stubborn?" he wondered. Hank smiled again. "I told her that she shouldn't let her pride get in the way," he said. Horace snorted. "Look who's talking," he muttered. Hank just grinned. "That's what she said too…"

"Is she really dying?" Horace asked, worry evident in his voice. Hank shrugged. "I don't know…" he said quietly. "That's what she keeps saying… She said she has something inside of her that's killing her… Says she can feel it… I'd rather leave Michaela to be the judge of that… We'll be visiting her tomorrow morning." Both were quiet for a moment. "Are you mad at her?" Hank asked again after the brief silence. Horace sighed deeply. It took him a few seconds to answer. "No," he said softly, "I'm not mad at her… I could never be mad at her… She… She just tried to do what was right… and failed miserably… It's wrong to judge her…" He smiled bitterly. "Let the one without sin throw the first rock, right?" Hank returned the smile. "Ain't that right…" he said softly.

"I love her, Hank," Horace said suddenly. "I never stopped loving her… I can only imagine what she's been through these last few years… I… I won't judge her for the choices she has made… I can't… For that I can only blame myself… If I had tried harder to make our marriage work, she would never have left me… And then all of this would never have happened." Hank shook his head. "There's no use in blamin' yerself, Horace," Hank said to the man opposite him. "You can't change what happened… But we can change her future… We can help her now… That's what counts the most, don't ya think?" _When did he get so wise? _Horace thought. "I guess so…" he replied.

"Well, I'm goin' back to the saloon," Hank said and stood up from his chair. "I have to close up… have to get up early in the morning to take Myra to the clinic… Will ya be there? I'm sure she'll appreciate it…" Horace nodded. "I'll be there… What time?" Hank shrugged. "Around ten I guess." "Alright," Horace said and stood up as well. Hank walked towards the door and was about to open it when Horace called his name. "Hank!" Hank turned around and eyed Horace questioningly. "Thanks," Horace said a bit shyly. "I… I really needed this…" And that was the truth. He couldn't remember ever having such a good conversation with someone. He felt relieved and more at ease than he had felt earlier that night. He even felt more relieved than he had felt in years! "Yer welcome," Hank said with a grin. Then he left.

_Who would have thought…_ Horace thought while shaking his head in disbelief. _Who would have thought I would ever have a conversation like this with Hank? Hank! Of all people… _But it had been nice. It had been good. It had been exactly what he needed. What a night it had been. So unreal, yet so intense… Myra was back in his life, which had turned his life upside down. But here was his chance, right? He could try to make things right with her. He could try to make it up to her. Help her… He could be there for her… He WOULD be there for her… _Forever Myra… Always and forever… Like we promised each other so many years ago… Until death do us part…_

TBC

I had fun writing this chapter. I was on a role! Hope you had fun reading it… Reviews please! Feedback is SO APPRECIATED!


	12. Chapter 12

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Sorry for the wait everyone… My real life got a little crazy which prevented me from working on this story. Hope you'll understand and that you're still interested in this story!

**Chapter 12**

Michaela looked incredulously at the three people in front of her. Hank and Horace had stopped by this morning to ask her if she had the time to listen to them and a young woman. They had warned her that it would take some time and they had said that it was important to keep an open mind. Michaela had looked at them questioningly and had wondered what the two men were up to. And since when had they gotten so close? Hank and Horace… They had looked like they were the best of friends! Michaela had gotten curious and had been determined to find out what was going on.

And suddenly there she had been… Myra… Michaela's mouth had dropped open in disbelief. Never, not in a million years, had she thought she would see this woman again. The woman who had once been a very good friend. Michaela had been glad to see her, but also worried at the same time. Being a doctor, she couldn't help noticing how ill Myra looked. The grayish color of her skin and her dark, tired eyes… and she had looked so thin! Too thin…

After they had hugged they had sat down and the three had started to tell Michaela Myra's story. Michaela had been stunned. She couldn't believe all the terrible things Myra had been through. Her heart had bled for the young woman. It still did… After an hour they were done talking, apparently having told her the 'short version' of what Myra had been through.

"I'm so sorry Myra," Michaela said, giving her a sad look. 'I don't know what else to say…" Myra just smiled. "It's alright, Dr. Mike," she said softly. Michaela smiled back and then realized how strong this young woman actually was. She had been through so much! She had been used, abused and eventually had lost her child! And still she managed to cling on to life… Michaela tried to imagine what it would be like to lose a child. _God, I wouldn't be able to go on, anymore… I wouldn't want to live anymore… Would I? _She thought about it again and wondered. "Haven't you tried to look for Samantha?" Michaela asked. Myra sighed and nodded. "Of course I have," she answered, "but Diane never told me to whom she gave Samantha! I didn't know where to look for her anymore… It nearly drove me crazy, Dr. Mike! Eventually I started to see Samantha in every child that passed me by… I swear I saw her in Denver once… But I guess my mind was just playing tricks…" Myra lowered her head. Hank looked at her with compassion. He really felt for her and so did Horace. He wished he could turn back time. Because then he would do things differently. Then he would do anything to make their marriage work. He would make sure Myra would never have to leave him…

"So… uh…" Hank started, "Can ya examine her? Check whether somthin's wrong with her?" Michaela could hear the worry in Hank's voice. She smiled and then nodded. "Of course I can," she answered, "If Myra doesn't mind I can do it right now… But I have to ask you two to stay inside the clinic. I don't know whether Myra has something contagious…" Horace and Hank looked at each other in shock. They hadn't thought about that yet. They had never even considered the possibility of it. "Contagious?" Hank asked questioningly. Michaela sighed. "Sorry Hank," she said, "I can't risk it… The both of you can stay at one of the rooms upstairs… I'll let you know something as soon as I can, alright?" Hank stood up looking a bit annoyed. "Sure…" he murmured, "Let's go Horace…" Horace followed Hank towards the door. "You'll be alright Myra," he said before heading up the stairs. Myra smiled. "Thanks Horace," she whispered. Then both men disappeared from her sight. "Okay," Michaela said, "let's get started…"

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Both men sat in the small little room, each of them lost in his own thoughts. Horace sat on a chair in front of the window and stared into the distance. _Please, don't let Myra be deadly ill! Please God… _he prayed silently. _I can't lose her… not again! I love her… Please let her be wrong! If she dies… If she dies, I'll die… A part of me will die with her… _He felt tears burn in his eyes. He held his head in his hands and sighed deeply. _Please…_

Hank sat on the side of the bed. He stared in front of him, not really seeing anything. _Myra must be wrong… what does she know about illnesses… How can she be sure she's dying? She ain't a doctor! Stupid woman… Scaring us all with her words… Michaela will prove her wrong! Will she? _Hank sighed. What if Michaela would come to the same conclusion? What if Myra was really dying? _No! She won't die… Not if I can help it… _He tried to push the negative thoughts aside. _But what if Myra was indeed deadly ill? _He couldn't ignore the possibility. _Damn,_ he cursed inwardly. _Damn everything to hell! _He shook his head and let himself fall backwards on the bed. He covered his eyes with his hands and wondered how it got this far. _No… no use thinking about the past… Better think about the future! Myra's future… Did she even have a future? A life without Samantha… Samantha… Samantha! _Hank sat up with a start and with a determined look on his face. _I will find Samantha for ya, Myra… I'll find her… _

A knock on the door shook both men from their thoughts. "Yes?" Horace called. The door opened and Michaela stepped inside. She immediately had both men's attention. "And?" Hank asked curiously, but worried at the same time. "Well," Michaela started, "so far nothing points to a contagious disease… which is good news…" Michaela fell silent. "But?" Hank asked, a stern look on his face. Michaela sighed deeply. "I don't know," she answered, "First I thought she was suffering from cholera… Judging from the color of her skin and such… Cholera is a water-born disease caused by a certain bacteria which is typically ingested by drinking contaminated water. And considering the fact she has been living on the streets the last few years… it would be likely for her to have caught this… But with cholera the effects kick in quickly… People usually die within 3 days because of dehydration. However, Myra isn't dehydrated…" Both men listened quietly to Michaela's explanation. "So ya still don't know a damn thing," Hank said almost accusingly. "Well," Michaela answered, "I have to do more tests… the grayish, nearly yellowish color of her skin could refer to liver failure… But I'm not sure yet…" Hank and Horace nodded but didn't say anything. "I just wanted to tell you, that you are allowed to leave the clinic now… It's nothing contagious," Michaela said finally. "I ain't leaving," Hank said determinedly. "Neither am I," Horace said. Michaela nodded. "Alright, I'll be back as soon as I know something… I'll ask Grace to bring you something to eat." She then turned around and left the room.

"This is bad, right?" Horace asked worriedly. "I don't know, Horace," Hank replied, "I don't know…" He knew exactly what Horace was thinking. Myra must have caught something really bad if even Michaela doesn't know what's wrong with her. Hank had a bad feeling about it; a very bad feeling. And all they could do was wait…

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It was after nightfall when Michaela finally returned to Horace and Hank. Both men were quiet; afraid to ask after Myra; however, Michaela's face told them almost everything they needed to know. She looked sad. Her eyes were a bit red, as if she had been crying. "She's dying, isn't she?" Horace asked and choked back a sob. Michaela slowly nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Hank shook his head. "No!" he said through his teeth. "She can't die… Can't you fix her?" He almost made Michaela feel guilty. "Hank…" Michaela started but she was interrupted by Horace. "What's wrong with her?" he asked. Michaela smiled bitterly for a moment. "Pretty much everything," she answered. "I was right about her liver… It's barely functioning… Her kidneys aren't working properly either. I still can't tell you exactly what's wrong with her… God knows what she's caught while living on the streets... not to mention while working at the saloon…" Michaela lowered her head for a moment. It pained her to tell these to men that the woman they both loved dearly was dying. "She…" she started but hesitated again. "Her body is shutting down…"

Michaela's words repeated themselves over and over in Hank's head. "How long before she…" Hank begun, but couldn't finish his question. Instead he looked at Michaela helplessly. Michaela just nodded at him. She knew exactly what he wanted to ask. "It could be days, maybe a week… two at the most… I'm so sorry! I wish I had better news…" Both men swallowed hard. "Where is she now?" Horace asked, his voice barely a whisper. "She's in the last room down the hall," Michaela replied. "You can see her if you want… but she may be asleep… I told her she needed to rest." Horace nodded. "Thanks," he said and left the room. Hank followed him.

Within seconds they had reached Myra's room. Horace opened the door and tears suddenly slid down his cheeks when he saw Myra. She was asleep; a soft smile gracing her lips. She looked at peace. "Oh Myra," he whispered and wiped away his tears. Hank just looked at the woman in the bed. He clenched his jaw. _How can life be this cruel?_ He asked himself. _This ain't fair… it ain't right! Damn it! Damn it all to hell! _

"You know what hurts the most?" Horace softly said. Hank turned his head to face him, but again didn't say a word. "She'll die without ever seeing her daughter again… She'll never know where she's been all this time… The only thing… no… the only person she stayed alive for… After years of hoping, searching and wondering… fighting… She'll leave this world still not knowing what happened to her daughter…" Hank listened to Horace's words and once again looked at Myra who was still sound asleep in the bed. He slowly shook his head. "No," he whispered. "That ain't going to happen…" Horace looked at Hank not completely understanding what the man was trying to say. "What?" he asked. Hank looked back at Horace and looked him straight in the eyes. "She WILL see her daughter again," Hank said determinedly. "I'll search for her… travel to the other side of the world if I have to… but Myra ain't going to die without seeing her daughter one last time… Not if I can help it…" Then Hank turned around and left the room.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Horace called after him. "I'm going to pack my stuff," Hank said without facing him. He just kept on walking. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning." Horace's eyes went wide. "Wait!" he called, "I'm going with you!" Hank stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. "No, yer not," Hank said. "What?" Horace replied incredulously. "Samantha is MY daughter, Hank! Not yours… I'll look for her too!" "I said no," Hank said coldly and gave Horace a penetrating look. "Ya need to stay with Myra, Horace," Hank said, nearly lecturing the man in front of him. "She needs ya… and ya need her. Use the time the two of ya have left to make things up… talk things out… This is the only chance ya got, Horace! The only chance to find peace with everything that has happened! Don't ya waste it…" With that said, Hank turned around again and left the hallway. Horace just watched the man go, realizing that Hank was right. Myra needed him… And he needed her! _I'll stay with ya Myra… all the way…_

TBC

Read and Review, please!


	13. Chapter 13

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 13**

Hank looked out of the train window, thinking about the events of the last few days. He thought back to his trip to Denver. How he initially just had gone there to visit his son, but how fate had decided to make him walk into another person he had once loved so dearly; Myra. He hadn't been able to believe it at first. She had looked so different; she had acted so differently from what he remembered. Eventually she had decided to tell him her story, and what a story it had been. It had sounded so unreal. The things she had been through… It had been too much to comprehend. He had felt so sorry for her, in fact, he still did…

During the last few days he had realized that he still loved her. He had actually never stopped loving her. Now she was back into his life, but unfortunately it would be for just a short while. Michaela had confirmed Myra's suspicions: she was dying… Hank closed his eyes for a brief moment. Just the thought of losing her, again, was nearly unbearable. But he wasn't the only one who would be losing her. Horace, her ex-husband, who had never stopped loving Myra either, would lose her as well. For the first time in his life Hank felt genuinely sorry for Horace. He knew how much Horace loved Myra and he knew how much Myra loved Horace. He wondered why on earth they had ever decided to split up. It had only brought them more misery. It had changed them. He remembered how Horace had changed when Myra had first left. Horace had been grumpy and angry; harsh even. Not just his personality had changed; he had acted differently as well. Hank remembered when Jake's father had come to town, telling everyone that there was gold out there. Of course Hank had been the first to mount his horse and to leave in search for a bit of gold. But so had Horace this time. He had searched like crazy, almost twenty-four hours a day. Hank had watched Horace until he couldn't take it anymore. _"You won't get her back this way…"_ he had said to him. For a moment it had seemed that Horace understood what he was saying, giving Hank a sad and defeated look. But then his expression had changed back to annoyance and anger and he had continued his search for the gold that just wasn't there.

Hank sighed. So much had changed over the last few years; so many things had happened. But none of it had made such an impression on him as the events of the last few days. Myra's incredible story, his conversation with Horace the night he had brought Myra back and now his trip to St. Louis. He had promised Myra and Horace he would find their daughter, but he also had some personal reasons to visit St. Louis. He felt he had some unfinished business to take care of. Well, Myra's unfinished business actually… He wanted to see this Diane-person. Talk to her in person; yell at her for what she had done to Myra and her daughter. He also wanted to visit Joe, the saloon owner. How he would love to give that guy a good bashing. It would make him feel so much better! However, he did have a minor problem that could prevent him from executing his plans: his companion…

Hank looked to his right and shook his head in annoyance as he looked at the man sitting next to him. _Why did he HAVE to come along? Why did she insist on it? She knows we can't get along… Damn it Michaela!_ He sighed deeply. "_I only want to make sure you won't do anything stupid," _she had said. _Yeah, and that's exactly why I don't need Sully to go with me! Hell, I don't need a babysitter._ He had been angry, but Michaela had insisted on it, and so had Myra. Myra had known exactly what Hank was up to; how badly he wanted to get his hands on Joe and how eagerly he wanted to tell Diane exactly what he thought of her. _"You won't get Samantha back that way,"_ Sully had supported her. _"Especially not with those people… They already think they're better than ya… being rude won't help; on the contrary…" Whatever…_

"So, you already figured out what to say to Diane?" Sully asked, interrupting Hank from his thoughts. "Except that she's a bitch and should learn some manners? No, not really…" Hank said with a grin on his face. Sully shook his head. "Please Hank," Sully answered, "Don't be an ass for once… You may not see it, but Diane did Myra a favour… I agree, she could have handled it a bit differently, but Samantha deserved a better life than Myra could give her at the time, so she decided to give it to her…" Hank looked away from Sully. "It wasn't her choice to make," he said in a gruff voice. "Well, someone had to make that choice… Myra wasn't capable of doing it," Sully continued, "You can't blame Diane for wanting to help Samantha…" "She should have helped Myra," Hank shot back. "From what I've heard, Myra didn't want to be helped… she thought she could do it on her own," Sully replied. "That didn't give Diane the right to take away Myra's kid!" Hank said angrily, "She could at least have called Horace! Or she could at least have talked to Myra… She could have told her where she would take Samantha… But no… She only thought about her own reputation, so she did what was right for HER!" Sully sighed. "I understand your point Hank, really I do," Sully answered, "But it won't help anyone if you keep dwelling on the past… on what 'could have been'… If we want to find out where Samantha is, we will have to treat Diane the way she expects to be treated and that's with respect. Please Hank… You will only ruin it… Think about Myra… She doesn't have that long…" Hank lowered his head in defeat. "Fine…" he muttered and looked outside the window again. _As long as we pay a little visit to "The Silver Bullet" then… My fist is waiting to meet Joe…_

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Myra lay peacefully in bed when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Myra? Are you awake?" she heard Horace say from the other side of the door. She smiled softly at the sound of his voice. It was so good to hear his voice again. "Yes, I'm awake," she said. The door slowly opened and Horace stepped inside. "Hi Myra," he said and smiled gently at her. "Are you feeling alright?" She nodded at him. "I feel a bit better, yes," she answered and beckoned him to sit down on the chair next to the bed. "Good," Horace answered and sat down. "I… I wanted to talk to ya, is that okay?" He sounded a bit insecure; he looked that way too. Myra smiled inwardly. That particular look had made her fall in love with him. She thought it was so incredibly cute. "Of course ya can," she answered softly.

"I… First I want you to know that I'm not mad at you," he started, "I… I have to say that I was a bit disappointed at first that you didn't ask me for help, but I guess I understand now why you didn't…" Myra watched him closely as he spoke, as if memorizing his face. "Horace…" she started, but he quickly shook his head. "No Myra… Please… Let me finish… I need to say this…" he answered. Myra nodded softly and gently grabbed his hand. He gave her a surprised look, but then smiled softly. "I feel so bad for what happened to ya Myra," he continued, "I can't tell you enough how sorry I am… I wish we had never broken up… Look what it did to us… I… I've never stopped loving ya Myra… Never! You are my heart and my soul… I… I want you to know that… I can't tell you how happy I am that you're back in my life again. But I feel sad at the same time knowing that it won't be for long… But I want to use the little time we have left to make things up to ya Myra! I'll do anything for ya… I'll stay with ya all the way… if you let me… I love you…"

Myra listened to Horace's words and felt tears streaming down her face. "Oh Horace," she said between sobs. "I love you too… Please don't blame yourself for what happened to me… please? It's nobody's fault… It just… It was just meant to happen this way… I'm actually grateful, you know… As strange as it may sound… Grateful that all these things happened… Because it eventually brought me back to you… it brought me back home… I've never been happier!" Horace got up from the chair and kneeled down beside the bed. He held Myra's hand in his and kissed it gently, while his other hand softly stroked her hair. "I love you…" he whispered again, never looking away from her. Myra closed her eyes and smiled. She did feel happy. She was back where she belonged, in the arms of the man she loved. _It's true what they say…_ she thought, _home IS where the heart is… And mine is right here…_

TBC

Hit the button… The button which says: "Send review"… PLEASE! Well, only if you want to of course… :-D


	14. Chapter 14

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

**Chapter 14**

Hank and Sully stood in front of the big house where Diane Pierce was supposed to be living in. Sully looked at Hank briefly, seeing the other man's facial expression darken slightly at the sight of the huge house. "Shall I do the talking?" Sully asked, hoping the barkeep would agree. He hoped Hank could behave himself in front of the woman, otherwise they would be having a hard time finding Samantha. Hank remained quiet and kept looking at the house. Sully could only guess what was going through his mind right now. "Please behave yourself," Sully asked, hoping his request wasn't in vain. _Please Hank, just for once… Do it for Myra…_

Both men walked towards the huge door. They knocked on it firmly and waited patiently for someone to open it. After a short while the door was opened by an elderly, classy-looking lady. Sully figured that she was the one they were looking for. The lady eyed the two men suspiciously. They were obviously from out of town. No men dressed up like that in St. Louis. Well, at least not in this part of town. "Can I help you?" she asked, her voice cold. "Indeed you can ma'am," Sully answered, trying to sound as friendly as he possibly could. He had to earn her trust and he knew very well how they must look like to her. The woman looked from one man to the other. The dark-haired one looked friendly enough to her, however, the blonde one actually scared her a bit. His eyes were shooting daggers at her and she couldn't help wondering why. She turned to look at the other man again who had answered her question. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

"Are you Mrs. Pierce?" Sully asked and, as he had expected, the woman nodded. "We're here to talk to ya about a young woman who used to live here… Her name was Myra…" Diane listened to the man's words. _Myra…_ It had been ages since she had last heard that name. She closed her eyes for a brief moment remembering the time Myra had lived under her wings. It had been wonderful… so wonderful to have her around. She had been like a daughter to her! The daughter she never had… It had been a wonderful time, until… _Until she deceived me!_ Diane's expression darkened. She folded her arms and glared coldly at the two men. "What did she do this time?" she asked annoyed. "Did she rob you? Does she owe you money? Or did she deceive you in another way? If so, you're at the wrong place… I don't know where she is and I don't really care either." Her words were filled with hate and anger which made Hanks' blood boil even more. Sully felt how the man next to him was trying to restrain himself, to keep his anger under control.

"That's not why we're here," Sully answered, hoping Hank would be able to control himself. The woman eyed Sully incredulously. "What can you possibly tell me about the little minx that would interest me?" she asked, her voice even colder than before. "I'll tell you a bit about Myra… about what she did to me… I took her in after her mother died… Gave her everything she needed! But it wasn't enough for her… She just HAD to deceive me… betray me… ruining my reputation! I bless the day she finally left!" That was it for Hank. He couldn't keep his anger inside any longer. "LEFT!" he yelled at the woman in front of him. "Ya kicked her out, lady! She may have ruined yer bloody reputation, but YOU ruined HER LIFE! Because of YOU she ended up living on the streets. BECAUSE OF YOU she lost her daughter! BECAUSE OF YOU she is now DYING!"

As Hank spoke he moved closer to Diane. She couldn't help but take a few steps backwards as she feared that the tall man in front of her would attack her. "Hank!" Sully yelled at the barkeep and grabbed him by the shoulder. "It's true Sully, and she knows it!" Hank yelled back. "This is NOT the time," Sully said giving him a stern look. "Not now…" As he felt Hank's muscles relaxing a bit he let go of him and turned back to Diane who was eyeing Hank frightfully. "I'm sorry for my friend here," Sully apologized to Diane. "Could we come in please? We.. we need to ask you something…"

Diane was unsure of what to say. Hank's words repeated themselves over and over in her head and she was still trying to process what he had just said. _Who are these men? What do they want? And what do they mean, saying Myra's dying? _Sully seemed to read her mind and said: "I'm sorry… I'm Byron Sully," he said and then pointed at Hank, "This is Hank Lawson… We're old friends of Myra's. She arrived back in Colorado Springs a few days ago…" Diane slowly nodded, while her facial expression softened. "Myra is dying?" she asked softly, a sad look in her eyes. Sully slowly nodded. "Oh God…" Diane said with a sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. After a brief silence she looked up at the two men and beckoned them to follow her. "Please come in…"

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Diane sat on the couch processing what the two men just told her. _Myra was dying… She had about a week to live… It's my fault… If I hadn't kicked her out…_ She closed her eyes, feeling incredibly guilty. She opened her eyes again, taking in the sight of the two men opposite her. Now that she knew who they were she didn't feel that threatened anymore. Myra had told her many things about her friends in Colorado Springs. At first she had been disgusted, hearing how these people lived, how some of them made a living and the fact that Indians lived nearby. Now two people of those she had heard so much about where sitting on her couch and she couldn't help but feel respect for the both of them. They had travelled all this way to help a friend they cared deeply about. A friend who was dying and whose dying wish was to see her baby girl again. If she had known Myra would end up like this, she would never have kicked her out. She sighed deeply. _I just tried to do what was right, Myra… I'm so sorry…_

She took in Hank's appearance. He looked kind of dangerous, well, sort of… He clearly was a man you shouldn't be messing with. "So you're Hank Lawson…" she suddenly said, causing Hank to raise an eyebrow. Diane smiled softly at him. "Myra told me a lot about you… She said you're not as bad as you appear on the outside." Hank couldn't help but grin. "Yeah well… don't let it get around," he said. Diane let out a soft chuckle. "That's what she said as well…" _And I think she was right,_ she thought as she saw Hank look away a bit shyly. "I know you're angry with me," she suddenly said to the barkeep. "And I understand… I'm actually not pleased with myself either, especially now that I know how Myra ended up after I sent her away… If I had known this was going to happen, I would have done things differently… I should have helped her… I should have helped her getting back to her feet… But unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it now…" Hank listened carefully to the elderly lady's words. "Ya can do something…" he said softly. Diane smiled gently as she knew exactly what he meant.

She stood up from the couch and walked towards a small cabinet. She opened it and took out an envelope. She handed it to Hank who gently took it from her hands. "It's the address of the family I sent Samantha to," she explained. "Please believe that I had Samantha's best interests at heart… I knew this family… a wealthy family; Irish immigrants actually … A married couple with three kids: a son and two daughters. The son married a lovely lady, but unfortunately they couldn't have any children. They wanted kids so desperately and it was tearing them apart that they couldn't have any of their own… I thought they were the perfect couple to raise Samantha…" Diane sighed deeply, still feeling very guilty about the whole situation. "I know I made a mistake… I should never have separated Samantha from her mother… I just… At the time I thought I was doing the right thing… I guess I was wrong…"

"I guess you were," Hank answered accusingly. Despite the fact he actually understood Diane, he couldn't help feeling angry with her. Because of her actions Myra was now a dying woman. A part of him knew it wasn't fair to think that way, but he couldn't help himself. Diane nodded slowly. "Why didn't you send Samantha back to Horace, Samantha's father?" Sully suddenly asked. Diane shook her head. "You've got to be kidding me," she answered, "The man tried to kill himself after Myra left him… Not a very good example for a young girl, is it?" "Still, he was, and still is, her father," Sully said, "You didn't just separate Samantha from her mother, you separated her from both her parents…" Diane sighed deeply. She didn't know what to say. The man was right, she saw that now, but what good would it do her? What good would it do Myra? Or Samantha?

"Their names are Paul and Caroline MacNamara…" Diane changed the subject and pointed at the envelope in Hank's hands. "They live in Denver; the address is inside the envelope. Tell them I sent you and explain the situation… I'm sure they'll understand and they'll let Myra see Samantha…" Both men stood up from the couch and nodded their thanks. They figured asking Diane more questions wouldn't be of any use. Besides, they got the information they needed, which was more important. "Please tell Myra I'm sorry," Diane whispered as the two men passed her. Hank couldn't help but giving her a stern look. He wanted to make sure she knew how much damage she had done and that nothing she would do would make him forgive her. He knew Myra would forgive her, but he knew he never would. "We'll do that," he heard Sully say, "Thank you very much ma'am."

They walked towards the door, Diane leading the way. She opened the door and let the two men out. Before she closed the door she saw Hank turn around and walked back towards her. "Just a question," he asked, "Where can I find 'The Silver Bullet'?" Diane looked at Hank questioningly. "It's on the other side of town near the old library," she answered. "You can't really miss it…" An evil grin appeared on Hank's face. "Thanks," he said and nodded at her. Then he turned his back on her again and left. While shaking his head Sully watched Hank pass him by. Hank was once again on a mission and Sully didn't like it one bit. However, another part of him understood Hank completely. The owner of 'The Silver Bullet' had mistreated Myra in the worst possible way and he was getting away with it. _I better stick with him, hoping he won't kill this Joe… He can beat him up a bit and I'm sure that's what he will do… I just hope he won't go too far… That's the last thing we need right now… the last thing Myra needs…_

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Hank stepped inside 'The Silver Bullet', Sully not far behind him. He looked around, taking in the sight of the place. It actually didn't look much different from his own saloon. He walked towards the bar and tipped his hat to the barkeep. He watched the man carefully. He looked Hispanic. He had shoulder length, dark hair which he wore in a ponytail. _This must be Joe,_ Hank figured, remembering Myra's description of him.

"Nice place ya got here," Hank said to the man and grinned broadly. "Thank you very much," the man said and smiled. "What can I get you?" Hank shrugged. "A whiskey is fine," he answered. "What about your friend?" the man asked and pointed at Sully who was still looking around the saloon. Hank chuckled. "Ya got any sasparilla? My friend isn't much of a drinker…" The barkeep laughed and nodded. "Sure!" He grabbed two bottles and poured some of their contents in two glasses. With a smile he served Hank and Sully the drinks. "So… you're the owner?" Hank asked. "Yes, I am," the man answered. "The name is Joe…" he extended his hand to Hank who took it and shook it firmly. "Hank…" he introduced himself.

"So… you in need of some 'entertainment', Hank?" Joe asked and winked at blond, longhaired man. "Maybe," Hank replied taking a sip from his whiskey. "I heard quite some stories about this place… Especially about some of yer girls…" Joe smiled broadly at Hank. "Really? Which girls?" he asked. "Well, I heard some very interesting ones about a girl named Myra," Hank answered as casually as possible. He was already disgusted with the annoying grin Joe wore on his face. This guy was slick, very slick and he smelled his arrogance from miles away. The guy only cared about himself, he figured as much.

Joe laughed. "Myra?" he said, "Well that's a name I haven't heard in a while… She was a fiery one! She loved to put up a fight!" Hank chuckled softly. "That's not what I've heard," he said causing Joe to look at him questioningly. Hank just shrugged and continued drinking his whiskey. "Well, she doesn't work here anymore," Joe said quickly still wondering what Hank meant by his previous remark. "I know," Hank answered throwing back his drink in one final gulp. Joe was now completely confused. _Then why did he ask about Myra in the first place? Who the hell is this guy?_ He shook his head and decided it would be wiser not to pay any more attention to it. He was about to turn to another customer when Hank grabbed him firmly by the arm. "I wasn't done talking," he said in a gruff voice his eyes shooting daggers at the man in front of him. "Did ya know Myra used to work for me?" he asked, "I have a saloon myself… She was one of my best girls… In fact, we became very good friends… Unfortunately she got married, then got divorced and then somehow ended up here…"

While Hank spoke Joe was trying to break free from Hank's grasp. He had a feeling where this was going; why Hank was here, and he actually felt scared. The look in Hank's eyes told him Hank was up to no good; that he was in big trouble. He could see anger and hate in those steel blue eyes. He struggled to free himself, but Hank didn't let go. In fact, he steadied his grip on him even more. Hank grabbed Joe by the collar and pulled him towards him so that Joe was forced to face him.

"She told me about ya, Joe…" Hank continued, never loosing sight of his prey. "She told me what ya did to her… what ya made her do… the things ya forced her to do… And ya know what? She told the wrong guy!" With all his strength he dragged Joe over the bar. Glasses fell to the ground and shattered to pieces. Joe screamed but Hank paid no attention to it. He pushed Joe away from him causing the guy to crash into one of the tables. He stood up as quickly as he could ready to fight back this time. However, Hank didn't give him the chance. All his anger was ready to come out and as soon as Joe turned around to face him again, Hank lashed out at him; his right fist connecting firmly with Joe's jaw, knocking the man out. "From Myra with love…" he said venomously to the unconscious man on the floor. Then he turned around and left the saloon.

Sully, who had been watching the whole scene from a safe distance, quickly checked on Joe. Figuring the man would be fine except for a large bruise beneath his eye, he quickly left the saloon as well to catch up with Hank. "Ya feelin' better?" he asked looking amused at the man next to him. "Oh yeah," Hank answered, "Much better…" Sully couldn't help but laugh softly as a satisfying grin appeared on Hank's face. This man never ceased to amaze him and this time was no different…

TBC

I have to say, I enjoyed writing this chapter! I hope you enjoyed reading it...


	15. Chapter 15

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

First of all I want to thank everyone who has read this story. A special thank you goes out to those who have reviewed, as well on as on the DQ message board. Without your support, I would have stopped writing long ago… It's good to know that a story is appreciated. I know I haven't thanked most of you personally, well I'll take the opportunity to do that now: Thank you **Ella, Lynn, IndianLover, Ganna, TweetyPie, francielo21, Ilse, Kat Kat B., Talitha, Isabella2004, Reba, Barbie and of course my beta-reader, Sarah. **If I've forgotten someone, please forgive me! I love you all!

Well, here's the next chapter!

**Chapter 15**

Michaela looked outside the window of her clinic and stared into the distance. She thought about the last two days and everything that had happened during them. Myra had returned to Colorado Springs… She smiled at the thought but felt sad at the same time. She was glad her friend was back, but the fact that she was fatally ill and probably wouldn't make it through the end of the week broke her heart. _Poor Myra…_

Not many people knew that Myra was back in town. Horace hadn't felt like sharing it with other people and Hank had left, together with Sully, to find Myra's daughter. Michaela couldn't help but miss Sully terribly. She really wanted to share her feelings with the man she loved. She felt incredibly sad and just wanted to cry her heart out in Sully's arms. Well, she'd just have to wait until he got back…

She had insisted that Sully would accompany Hank on his trip. She knew all too well how angry Hank was with Mrs. Pierce and how much he wanted to tell her what he thought of her. And then there was Joe… So Michaela had insisted that Sully went along with Hank. She didn't want Hank's nasty temper to get in the way of finding Samantha, nor did she want him to do anything stupid like killing Joe. Hank had been furious with her when she had told him Sully was going with him. _"It ain't any of his business, Michaela! It ain't yours either… I can handle this myself!" _he had yelled at her. But Michaela had been stubborn as always, never taking no for an answer, and eventually he had surrendered.

And now they were both gone, in search for Samantha, while she was left behind to take care of Myra. She wasn't doing very well. She hardly kept down her food and she was suffering from a high fever. Michaela had done several tests with her blood, had examined Myra again and again, but once again she hadn't been able to find out what was wrong with her. She knew her body was shutting down, but she couldn't figure out what was causing it and most importantly, what she could do to stop it. There simply was no cure for it. The only thing she could do was trying to make things as comfortable as possible for Myra and giving her morphine for the pain.

Michaela was shaken from her thoughts as the door suddenly opened and Grace stepped inside. "Hello Grace," Michaela greeted her and smiled gently at her. "Good afternoon Dr. Mike," Grace answered and smiled back at her. "What can I do for you?" Michaela asked. Grace eyed her a bit nervously. "Well, there's nothing wrong with me, but I was just wondering," she started and shot Michaela a curious look. "Is it true? Is Myra back in town?" Michaela sighed and then eyed Grace questioningly. How did she know? The only person she had told it to was… Dorothy. _Dorothy… I told her not to say anything yet…_ She slowly nodded at Grace. "Yes, it's true... How did you know?" Grace rolled her eyes. "Oh Dr. Mike! Haven't you read 'The Gazette' yet?" she answered, "There's a whole story there! I just can't believe it… I can't believe she decided to whore herself again… No wonder her daughter was taken from her!" Michaela listened to Grace open-mouthed.

_Dorothy! How could you, Dorothy! I begged you not to say anything… Oh Dorothy… _She closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, I haven't read today's 'Gazette' yet," Michaela answered, "I guess I'd better do that now…" Grace nodded. "Well, I'll be off now… I have to get back to the restaurant… So much work to do…" With that said Grace turned around and left the clinic again.

Michaela lowered herself on her chair and leaned back, eying 'The Gazette' that was lying on her desk. "Oh, what on earth did you write, Dorothy?" she asked herself and took the paper from her desk. She searched for the article and then decided to read it. When she was finished she shook her head in disbelief. She knew her friend had meant well, but the way the article was written could cause a lot of misunderstandings. _Especially in this town…_ There was no explanation whatsoever in the article about why Myra had done the things she had done. Just some plain, simple facts about her life in St. Louis and that she was now back in Colorado Springs to die. _This article will stir things up in town,_ Michaela figured. "Oh Dorothy, what have you done?"

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It was quite busy at Grace's restaurant. Many people had decided it was a great day to go out to dinner, which caused the restaurant to be fully occupied. Jake was there with his wife Teresa; Loren sat at a table with Dorothy; Preston had joined the Reverend; and Matthew was there with Brian. Although they were all talking to one another at first, catching up on town news and gossip, eventually there was just one topic that held everybody's interest: Myra's return. Everyone had read Dorothy's article about the young woman who had left Colorado Springs years ago to make a living on her own, but apparently had failed miserably.

"I can't believe she decided to work as a whore again," Loren said and shrugged, "You'd think she'd learned her lesson… Working for Hank and all…" Preston laughed. "Yeah, well Loren, some people just never learn I guess…" "Maybe she liked the job after all," Jake said with a grin, but his grin faded as soon as he saw the angry look on his wife's face. "And she lost her child!" Grace said while serving some plates, "I can't believe it… She should be ashamed of herself… poor Samantha!" She shook her head in disapproval. "I agree with you Grace," Preston said and smiled broadly at the dark woman. "She's an awful example to every child of this town!"

While everyone discussed Myra's situation Dorothy sat silently at her table. She had her eyes closed and her hands in front of her mouth. _Oh my God! This is not what I had been trying to say… I can't believe I messed it up…_ She sighed deeply. This was all her fault. Because of her incompetence, the town now despised Myra. They were drawing conclusions that weren't even right. They were judging her without even getting the facts straight. _And who's fault is that? _she thought miserably. _Oh, Michaela will be so furious with me… and Horace… Horace…_

The loud angry voice of the man in question awoke Dorothy from her thoughts. "How dare you people talk about Myra like that? HOW DARE YOU?" Dorothy had no idea where he had come from, but obviously he had heard a part of the discussion and he'd probably read her article as well. "You have no right to judge her!" Horace shouted, his eyes shooting daggers at everyone in front of him. "You don't know ANYTHING about what she had to go through! You know NOTHING! NOTHING! She fought for her daughter… fought for her life! She's still fighting for her life… How dare you talk about her like that if you have no idea about what she's been through the last few years? You all think you know! Based on a small, stupid article in a newspaper!" For a moment he looked angrily in Dorothy's direction. Dorothy felt her cheeks flush. She knew all to well what kind of mistake she had made.

"Myra has always been good to you people! She helped everyone who needed it! She had a heart of gold! And this is how you're treating her now? You all should be there for her! Now it's OUR turn to take care of HER! Yes, she made a few mistakes, but haven't we all? And trust me, she regrets her mistakes! But she did it to make a living… for Samantha… She did it all for Samantha… What can be so wrong about a mother's dedication to give her daughter everything she needs… to give her the best life possible? How can that be wrong? Yes, she eventually lost Samantha… But Myra isn't the only one to blame for that! There were many people who saw how her life went downhill, but no one did anything! NO ONE! And neither did you…"

He eyed everyone at the restaurant dangerously, daring them to say anything bad about Myra; however, no one said a word. "She deserves respect," he continued, "she's a heroine, an amazing woman… And you are all lucky that Hank isn't here right now, because he would have your heads if he had heard you! If you knew Myra's complete story I'm sure it would break your heart… It definitely broke mine. And I will do anything to make sure that her last few days on earth are worthwhile! You should be doing the same…"

With that he turned around and left, unaware of the tears that had managed their way down his cheeks. Dorothy stood up slowly. "He's right," she said to the crowd who had turned deadly quiet. "The article I wrote… I shouldn't have written it… Well, not the way it's written now… It was foolish of me to think that I would be able to describe Myra's last few years in about twenty sentences. What the article says is wrong… There is so much more to it! And I'm sincerely sorry I wrote it…" She lowered her head in embarrassment.

"It's not them you should be apologizing to," Dorothy suddenly heard Michaela say. She looked up and saw her friend standing at the entrance of the restaurant. Michaela gave her friend a stern, acknowledging look. She had witnessed the whole scene from a distance, but for once she had decided not to interfere. Dorothy nodded at Michaela's statement, fully aware what her friend was trying to tell her. "I know," she whispered and then walked towards Michaela who gladly guided her towards the clinic where the young woman was that Dorothy needed to see…

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Dorothy hesitantly knocked on Myra's door. "Come in," she heard Myra say and she couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice. Michaela stood behind Dorothy and gave her an encouraging pat on the back. "Go on," Michaela whispered, "It's alright… She'll be delighted to see you…" Dorothy opened the door. She was greeted with Myra's broad, happy smile and she couldn't help but smile back at the woman in the bed. "Oh Myra!" Dorothy exclaimed and walked toward the bed to hug her long lost friend. "It's so good to see you!" Myra laughed and held on tight to the older woman. "It's good to see you too Dorothy," she answered. Then Dorothy noticed Horace sitting at the other side of the bed and she quickly let go of Myra, her cheeks flushing once more.

"I'm so sorry Myra," she said, "I'm not sure whether Horace told you already, but I've made a terrible mistake…" Myra smiled and nodded. "Yes, he told me… about the article and about what happened at the restaurant…" Dorothy looked down for a moment and then said: "I'm so sorry Myra… I… I just wanted to tell everyone that you were back… and I wanted to tell them what had happened to you during these last few years… what you've had to go through, but I guess it didn't come out the way I wanted to… And now people are saying these horrible things… Drawing the wrong conclusions… Oh, I feel so bad… I should have known better…" Myra took Dorothy's hand into hers and smiled softly at the red-haired woman. She was actually surprised to see that Dorothy's hair hadn't gone grey yet. "It's alright Dorothy," Myra said gently, "I know you didn't mean it that way… I have to say… I had already expected that once people found out I was back in town they would judge me… They always do… Nothing much has changed here I guess," She winked at her last comment, hoping Dorothy could also laugh about the situation. Dorothy, however, still felt bad and was close to crying. "I really want to apologize," she said, a sincere look at her face. She looked from Myra to Horace and from Horace to Michaela. "I want to apologize to all three of you… To you Michaela, because you told me something in confidence and I used the information to write an article… again… I want to apologize to you, Horace and Myra, for using that information incorrectly and for the mess it caused… I'm so sorry!" Horace eyed Myra carefully. He was still mad with Dorothy, however, if Myra would accept her apologies, then so would he. He had more important things to worry about anyway…

"Of course I accept your apologies!" Myra called out and drew Dorothy back into a hug. "You are one of the best friends I've ever had… and despite the fact I left, and in spite of everything that has happened to me the last few years, you are still here for me… Thank you…" A tear escaped Dorothy's eye and she quickly wiped it away. She smiled in relief and then eyed Horace nervously. To her relief he nodded at her, a soft smile appearing on his lips. "I forgive you too," Michaela said to Dorothy and winked at her, which caused Dorothy to laugh out loud. "Thank you," Dorothy whispered. "No," Myra said softly, "Thank YOU…"

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Thank you very much for all the nice comments! hugs all On to the next chapter!

**Chapter 16**

Hank looked at the enormous house in front of him. _This is where Samantha should be… This is where she lives…_ He sighed deeply, suddenly wondering whether he and Sully were doing the right thing. It was definitely the right thing to do for Myra, but would it be the right thing for Samantha? The girl had been taken away from Myra years ago. She had barely been two years old. She had been living with these people now for years. She probably considers them as her real parents. She probably wouldn't even remember Myra, or Horace for that matter… _We can't take her away from her family like that… From the place she calls home… She wouldn't understand, would she? Would she remember Myra? What would Myra do? Damn!_ Hank cursed inwardly. He hated it when his mind decided to become all sensible. Why did it always happen when he definitely couldn't use it?

"What are ya thinkin' about?" Sully asked. He was standing next to the barkeep and had noticed the thoughtful look on the man's face. Hank shrugged. "Just wondering whether we're doin' the right thing," he said casually. Sully smiled softly. He knew exactly what Hank was thinking. He had been thinking about it himself. "We're not here to take Samantha away from her family, Hank," Sully said. "We're here to inform them about Myra's situation and that her dying wish is to see her daughter one last time. And I believe that if they have just a little bit of humanity inside of them, they will grant Myra her wish." Hank just nodded. "I know, it's just… It's not that simple, is it?" he answered. "This is Samantha's home now and we both know that as soon as Horace sees her he will demand that she stays with him. And I can't blame him… It's his kid! But on the other hand… Samantha probably won't even recognize him… or Myra…" Sully listened carefully to Hank's words and nodded. "I know what you mean," he replied, "You're wondering whether it's worth it… Especially while knowing that two families will be fighting over her in the end… at her expense…"

Hank nodded in agreement. "The kid doesn't deserve that," he said softly. Sully shot Hank a questioning look. "So what will we do then?" he asked. "Are we going to do this or not?" Hank sighed deeply. "I don't know… I'm wondering what Myra would do," he said. "What do you think she'd do?" Sully asked him. Hank shrugged and then grinned. "She would never do it," he answered, "Not at the expense of Samantha…" He looked away for a moment, eyeing the big house one more time. "And what do you think, Hank?" Sully asked his eyes still fixed on the barkeep, watching the man's every move. Hank turned his head to face Sully again. "I think we should do it," Hank said with a determined look on his face. "Myra deserves to see her daughter one more time. Especially after everything she's been through. And I'll be damned if we fail in that mission. Myra WILL see Samantha one more time before she dies. Even if it's the last thing I do…" Sully couldn't help but smile at Hank's determined and passionate words. Then he realized that he wasn't actually that much different from Hank after all. He knew he would do exactly the same for Michaela. However, there was still one question to answer. "What about Samantha?" he asked. Hank shrugged. "Lets hope Horace will be sensible enough to see what's right for his daughter," he answered. "Maybe Myra can talk some sense into him, or otherwise I'll do it… or maybe the MacNamaras aren't such bad people… maybe they can make arrangements… Who knows, Sully? I'm willing to risk it… And even if it all turns out bad… Well, if Samantha looks anything like her mother, she'll get over it!" Sully let out a chuckle, but silently prayed that Samantha would be spared in all of this. "I hope you're right, Hank," he whispered and then followed Hank towards the door of the big house.

Hank knocked on a big door that was immediately opened by a man who would most likely be the family's butler. "Gentlemen, can I help you?" the man asked. Hank and Sully couldn't help but notice the man's English accent. It sounded so civilized; wealthy even. "Uhm, we're looking for Mr. and Mrs. MacNamara," Sully answered. "We have something to discuss with them… A friend of theirs, Diane Pierce, sent us." The man took in the sight of the two men in front of them. "One moment please," he said. He closed the door and it took about five minutes before the door was opened again.

However, this time the door wasn't opened by the butler, but by a young, beautiful woman. Hank's jaw nearly dropped at her sight. The big blue eyes and the long, slightly flowing, red hair took his breath away. _Wait a minute! I know her!_ Hank concentrated on her face and tried to remember where he had seen her. "Hello," the woman said. "I was told you're looking for Mr. and Mrs. MacNamara?" Her voice was as beautiful as her appearance. The sound was like music to Hank's ears. "Who did you say you were?" she asked the two men. "I'm Byron Sully," Sully answered. "And this is Hank Lawson…" He pointed to the man next to her. The woman shot Hank a flashing smile. "So you are Hank Lawson," she said. Hank looked stunned. _She knows me! How the hell does she know me? I don't even know who she is… She does look familiar… I just can't remember… _She had to laugh as she saw the bewildered look on Hank's face. Sully was surprised as well. "I'm Jasmine," she answered and extended her hand. Hank took it hesitantly and thought hard as the young woman told him her name. _Jasmine? Jasmine… Jasmine… I don't know a Jasmine… I… Oh God no! _Hank groaned inwardly as realization hit him. _Jasmine! _ He suddenly remembered the visit he had paid his son a while ago. He remembered what they had talked about and the pictures Zack had shown him. A girl… They had talked about a girl… Zack's love interest. _"Jasmine… She's 17 years old and she's from a p…pretty w…wealthy family… She s…studies m…medicine at the university here…"_ His son's words suddenly came back to him and repeated themselves over and over in his head. _Oh God, can this day get any worse?_ Hank thought miserably. If this visit was going to end up in a fight he wouldn't only have ruined Myra's chances to see Samantha again, he would also have ruined his son's future with this girl.

"You know each other?" Sully asked who had no idea what was going on. "Oh, not really," Jasmine answered. "Well, not yet anyway… You're Zack's father, aren't you? I recognize you from the drawings he made of you…" Hank tried to smile and nodded, but meanwhile his mind was working overtime. _Ain't it a small world… damn it… Damn it all to hell…_ "Yeah," he answered as casual as possible, "he showed me a picture of you too…" To his surprise the young woman blushed which told him that the feelings Zack felt for this girl were mutual. "Please come in," she said. "My brother and his wife are in the living room." Sully and Hank looked at her questioningly. "Mr. and Mrs. MacNamara," Jasmine explained. "They're my brother and my sister-in-law. They're in the living room… Please follow me."

Hank and Sully followed the young woman. They both looked around in awe as they were now able to see the inside of the house. It reminded Sully of the Quinn residence in Boston and Diane Pierce's house in St. Louis, but then with lots of Irish influences. It was quite impressive.

Hank stopped dead in his tracks as they finally reached the living room. From behind Jasmine Hank was able to see a small child, a girl, about five years of age. _Samantha…_ There was no doubt it was Samantha. Hank looked at her small face and recognized Myra's features everywhere. _God, she looks like her mother…_

"Paul, Caroline, Zack's father is here with a friend," Jasmine said to the two people in the living room. The man, Paul, stood up and smiled brightly at the two men. "Welcome," he said happily and extended his hand. Paul was a handsome man, with the same big blue eyes his sister had and his hair also had the same shade of red. Sully took Paul's hand and shook it firmly. "I'm Byron Sully," he introduced himself. "I'm Paul, this is my wife Caroline," he pointed at the woman standing behind him. She was as stunning as Jasmine was. She had beautiful pale skin which contrasted beautifully with her long, black hair that fell gracefully over her shoulders. She smiled shyly, her soft features reminding Sully of Michaela.

"Hank Lawson," Hank introduced himself as he shook Paul's hand and nodded gently at Caroline. "So you are Zack's father?" Paul asked. "We've heard so much about you and your son." He smiled and winked at his younger sister. "Paul!" she called out to her brother and shot him a warning look. Then she looked back at Hank who grinned broadly, which made her cheeks flush once again. _She's cute…_ Hank said to himself. He just hoped the rest of the family would be as well… "So what can I do for you?" Paul asked and for the first time Sully noticed that Paul didn't sound very Irish. English was more like it and it actually sounded very pleasant.

Hank looked at Sully, not knowing how to answer Paul's question. They seemed like such nice people and it would be so unfair to mess up their lives. _But we don't have a choice… Myra needs to see Samantha… just one last time…_ Sully sighed deeply and decided to do the talking. "Diane Pierce sent us," Sully started and watched as recognition washed over both Paul and Caroline's face. "We have something to ask of you… Please promise us you'll listen first before you show us the door… Just listen to what we have to say…" Paul's facial expression turned serious as he realized that Hank and Sully meant business. They were here for a particular reason; an important reason. A reason he felt he wasn't going to like. "We promise," he answered and took the hand of his wife, who had moved next to her husband. Sully nodded. "It's about Samantha," he said eventually and eyed the little girl who was playing in the corner of the living room. "About Samantha and her mother… her REAL mother…"

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Once again Hank looked outside the train window. It had been a long day; hell, it had been a long five days, but now they were finally on their way back to Colorado Springs. He looked to his side for a moment where Sully was sitting. The man had his eyes closed and had obviously drifted off a bit. Hank smiled and stared into the distance again. It had been a long talk with the MacNamaras. For a moment Hank had thought they would have kicked them both out of the house, but eventually they had been able to reason with them. Caroline had been shocked when she had found out the true reason of Hank and Sully's visit. She had been afraid, afraid that they were going to take away the little girl she had grown to love so much. She may not have been Samantha's biological mother, but she was indeed a mother to the child in every way that counted. Hank had seen it too. The way she cared for Samantha had been touching and sweet; it had made Hank feel guilty for messing up their lives like that. Especially when Samantha had called Caroline "mommy". She obviously didn't know better.

Eventually Hank had been able to push his feelings of guilt aside and had tried to make the couple understand what Myra was going through right now and what she had been through in the past. He had tried to make them see the importance of Myra seeing Samantha one last time. Caroline had closed her eyes and had wiped away a tear. She had looked at her husband and had said: _"We can't deny this woman her wish, Paul… She never gave up Samantha willingly… I can only imagine what that must be like… And now she's dying… How awful it must be to die without ever seeing your child… We have to do this! We always knew there would be a chance we had to face Samantha's real parents… This is it… We can't walk away from it… For Samantha's sake…" _Paul had clenched his jaw, but eventually agreed. They had immediately packed their bags and decided to travel back to Colorado Springs with Hank and Sully. Hank felt sorry for the couple. They obviously loved Samantha a lot. She truly was like a daughter to them. And to Samantha they were her parents. _Poor kid… Would she understand what's going on? Would she recognize Myra? Or Horace? _Hank sighed deeply. He felt bad and happy at the same time. He knew he was about to make Myra's dying wish come true, but at what cost? Horace would never let her go, would he? Paul and Caroline wouldn't go down without a fight either, would they?What had they done? He couldn't stop thinking about it, but there wasn't much he could do about it now. All he could do was hope that eventually it would turn out okay…

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

I'm so terribly sorry that it took so long for me to update! But as some of you already knew I had some personal problems to deal with… I hope you are still interested in the story! Here's the next chapter…

**Chapter 17**

"Are they both here?" Michaela looked up at the sound of Hank's voice. She had been so preoccupied reading one of her medical books that she hadn't heard Hank entering the clinic. "Hank!" Michaela called to him in surprise. She hadn't expected him to be back yet. She was pretty happy to see him, because it also meant that Sully was back too. "Yes, they're both here," she answered. "Did you find her?" Hank nodded. "We did," he said. "But I guess it's not going to be all that simple…" Michaela looked at Hank questioningly. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Hank sighed deeply before answering. "There are more people involved, Michaela," he explained. "Different interests are at stake… like Samantha's…" He was quiet for a moment, trying to search for the right words. "The family she's living with… it's all she knows… She doesn't remember Myra, or Horace… Don't get me wrong Michaela… there's nothing I want more right now than for Myra seeing her daughter one last time. But we all now what will happen if Horace sees her… He'll want her back… Which is understandable… but I really doubt whether it's the right thing for Samantha…"

Michaela listened carefully to Hank's words. She was glad that he and Sully had found Samantha. At least now Myra's dying wish could be fulfilled. But what about the consequences? For both Samantha and her current family? What about Horace? Horace would definitely want her back. He wouldn't give her up without a fight. "Is she happy with that family?" Michaela couldn't help but ask. Hank nodded. "Yeah, she is," he answered. "Anyone would be I guess… They're very nice people…" Michaela sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "I assume you want to talk to Horace and Myra first, before getting Samantha here?" she asked. Hank nodded. "Yeah, and I'd like ya to be there too… I'm sure Horace won't like what I have to say… Maybe he'll listen to you…" Michaela nodded in agreement.

"Alright," she answered and got up from behind her desk. "You have to know one thing, though," she said, her facial expression a little sad. Hank eyed her questioningly. "What?" he asked. "Myra isn't doing too well," Michaela started, "In fact, she's doing very bad… She doesn't have much time, Hank. It may not be the time to bring the discussion up…" Hank closed his eyes for a brief moment and rubbed his temples. "How bad is she?" he asked as he looked at Michaela again, his voice soft. "I don't think she'll make it to tomorrow night," Michaela answered sadly. "I'm sorry, Hank…" Hank swallowed hard and nodded while a bitter smile appeared on his face. "Let's just try, alright?" he said, "They need to know it anyway… When it gets too heated, we'll drop it until after Myra…" He didn't finish his sentence, however, Michaela understood perfectly what he was trying to say. _Until after Myra has passed away…_

She moved towards Hank and placed a hand on his arm. She knew very well how much Myra meant to Hank and she also knew the feeling was mutual. "Let's go tell them then, alright?" she said softly. Hank nodded and softly smiled at the lady doctor. "Let's go," he whispered and followed Michaela up the stairs.

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Michaela briefly knocked on the door before gently opening it. She stepped inside the room, with Hank right behind her and they were greeted by the lovely sight of Horace sitting next to Myra's bed, holding her hand. They both looked up as Michaela entered the room and an anxious look appeared on their faces at the sight of Hank. "Did you find her?" Horace asked as he jumped up from his chair. Hank smiled briefly at Horace and then turned his attention on Myra. She indeed looked awful. He had only been gone for a few days, but she looked far worse than the day he had left to find Samantha. Her skin had gotten even more grayish than it already had been and every bone in her body seemed to be visible. Her eyes seemed too big for her small face, while her lips seemed to be drained of all their colour.

Hank felt a stab of anger and sadness pierce his heart. The sight of her was just heartbreaking and he wondered whether it was the right thing to bring up this very painful discussion. _Maybe I should just tell them I found Samantha, show her to them and let Horace and the MacNamaras fight later…_ He sighed deeply, not really knowing what to do. _What would Myra do? She would tell… Samantha's wellbeing over that of her own… Anybody's wellbeing was more important than her own… But to me YOU are more important right now! Damn decisions… _

"Did you find her?" Horace asked again, which shook Hank from his thoughts. He looked at Horace hesitantly, still not knowing what to say. _Well, I can't tell him 'no', can I…_ "Horace, I think you should sit down for a moment," Michaela said. Hank was grateful that Michaela took over, which gave him a little more time to think. "Hank?" Myra asked and eyed the barkeep questioningly. Hank closed his eyes. _I have to tell them now… _"I found her," he said softly and smiled briefly at the two people in front of him. Both Myra's and Horace's eyes lit up and Myra couldn't help letting out a little sob of joy. "Oh thank God!" she exclaimed and looked at Horace happily. "Where is she now?" Horace asked with a big smile on his face. This was the best news he had heard in days! The best in years even… His daughter was back! Myra's daughter… THEIR daughter… He could hardly wait to see her.

"She's here… but I need to talk to ya about something first," Hank said a little uncertain. He saw the eagerness on both their faces. They were obviously so excited to see their child again, after so many years. But did they also see the downside? Did they realize that Samantha may not recognize them? Did Horace realize that he couldn't just claim Samantha again? Did he realize that to Samantha her home was somewhere else now, with other people?

"What is it?" Myra asked worriedly, afraid something might be wrong with her daughter. "Is she alright?" Hank quickly nodded. "Yes she is, but…" He was quiet again for a moment. Then he shot them a serious look and said: "I don't know what you two were expecting of this meeting, but… Do you realize that she may not recognize you? It's been years since she's last seen you, Myra, and it's been even longer since she's seen Horace…" Myra nodded at his words. "I've thought about that," she said softly, her eyes a little sad. "It's logical… She probably has a new family now… She probably considers other people as her parents… But that's alright! All I want is to see her one more time… Hold her in my arms one more time… I want to see what's become of her in these last few years… I just want to see her face…"

Hank nodded and smiled. He figured Myra would say something like that. But then, Myra wasn't really the problem, was she? He looked at Horace whose facial expression had drastically changed. "What about you, Horace?" Hank asked carefully. The look on Horace's face already told him that Horace wouldn't give up without a fight. Horace stood up from his chair and eyed Hank angrily. "I know what you're trying to do, Hank," Horace said coldly. "I know what you're trying to tell me, but I won't accept it. She is MY daughter! I will NOT give her up! You can't expect me to just let her go after I finally got her back again! Because I won't!"

"Horace!" Myra said as she tried to grab his hand. "No!" Horace yelled. "I don't want to hear it!" And with that he rushed past Michaela who stood next to the door and stormed out of the room. Hank lowered his head in defeat. "I'm sorry," he said and eyed Myra sadly. "It's alright," Myra said and smiled gently at him. "I really appreciate what you were trying to do… And you're right. It's wrong to take Samantha away from the people she sees as her family. But I can't blame Horace either… I'll try to talk to him, alright?"

"You need to rest," Michaela interrupted. "I'll try and talk to him first, if I can find him. Then you can try, when you're awake again. Please, try to get some sleep…" Myra smiled and nodded. "Alright…" she whispered, her eyes already closing. She was peacefully asleep within seconds. Hank walked towards the chair next to the bed and sat down on it. "I'm staying here," he said to Michaela without looking at her. All he could do was watch the woman he had once loved so dearly. The woman he still cared deeply about. Michaela just smiled and silently left the room.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Thanks for all the sweet comments! They're very much appreciated! I hope I'll be able to post the next chapter before I go on holiday! If not, well... I guess you have to have a little patience then... Sorry!

**Chapter 18**

Horace stormed out of the clinic slamming the door shut. _How dare they? How dare they ask these things from me? I won't give up my daughter! Not now, not ever! Especially not now… They can't really expect me to let Samantha go again, can they? Not after all these years! I can't let her go again… I won't! I can't just lose my wife AND my child! This ain't fair…_

Angrily, he walked in no particular direction while many different thoughts haunted his mind. _I know Samantha has a new family now… Maybe she's happy with them, I don't know… What if she is? She'll be devastated if I take her away from them… No! She's mine! She'll get over it… She has to! She'll understand… one day… Will she?_

Horace looked up to see where he was and realized he was standing in front of the Colorado Springs hotel. _They must be staying there… Samantha must be there, with her family… No! They're not her family! I'm family! I'm her father… I need to see her…_ He rushed towards the entrance of the hotel. He hesitated one short moment before stepping inside. He walked towards the counter to ask in which room the MacNamaras were staying. He was about to ask the question when he heard a soft, female voice with a somewhat English accent.

He immediately looked around and suddenly noticed a woman sitting on a chair in the corner of the hotel lounge. She had beautiful, long black hair that fell gracefully over her back and shoulders. Horace's jaw dropped for a second as he took in her appearance. Except for Myra, she had to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her voice was as beautiful as her angelic face, talking softly to someone. The sound was like music to Horace's ears, even though she spoke too softly for him to understand what she was saying.

Then he noticed the person the woman was talking to. Horace's jaw dropped even further when he recognized the small child sitting nest to the dark-haired woman. _Samantha…_ There was no doubt that it was his little girl. Myra's features were evident all over her face. She smiled at the woman next to her and Horace figured the woman must be Samantha's so called mother. He took in Samantha's sight. _How she's grown! No longer the baby I once knew… She must be about five years old now… I can't believe she's actually here! She's so beautiful… God, she looks like her mother!_

Horace didn't really know what to do. A part of him wanted to run towards Samantha and take her in his arms. He wanted to hold her, stroke her hair. He wanted to tell her how much he had missed her and how glad he was that she was back. But then he remembered Hank's words: _"Do you realize that she may not recognize you? It's been years since she's last seen you, Myra, and it's been even longer since she's seen Horace…" _

He sighed deeply. The thought that Samantha wouldn't recognize him terrified him, but he knew that the possibility that she WOULD recognize him was an absolute minimum. He eyed the little girl once more, concentrating on her body language and facial expression. She seemed to like the woman who was sitting next to her. She even seemed to love her… Conflicting thoughts and emotions rushed through Horace's mind and body.

_I can't let her go! But she seems so happy with this woman… And the woman seems to love her… Will I be tearing a family apart? Am I able to tear them apart? Am I allowed? But she's mine! Not theirs! Can I put my own happiness in front of that of Samantha's? I know Myra wouldn't… But I ain't her! But I'd disappoint her if I'd do such a thing… If I'd take Samantha away from the people she considers family… Why is life so hard?_

Horace looked at Samantha once more and decided to move a bit closer. The woman had turned to Samantha so now her back was towards Horace. _I want to hear what they are saying… I NEED to hear it… _Horace moved closer and hid himself behind a huge pillar in the centre of the hotel lounge. He leaned against it and listened carefully until he was finally able to hear the woman and Samantha.

"You remember what we told you?" the woman asked Samantha. "Yes mommy," Samantha answered. Horace couldn't help but smile. She just had the cutest voice ever. "This woman is very, very ill," the woman continued her voice still soft and gentle. "And all she wants is to see you again…"

"But why does she want to see me?" Samantha asked

"I told you that, remember?" the woman explained. "She is your real mother… She loves you, she always has… But she hasn't seen you in such a long time now, and now that she knows that she is dying she wants to see you… just one last time…"

"If I knew I was dying I would want to see you one more time too!" Samantha said. The woman couldn't help but laugh. She was a very wise girl, despite her tender age.

"Oh Samantha! I guess you understand how this woman must be feeling then… Have I told you her name yet?"

"No," Samantha answered. Horace felt anger boiling up inside of him as he heard Samantha's answer. _They've never told her!_

"Her name is Myra," the woman said.

"I think that is a pretty name," Samantha said. The woman laughed again. "Yes it is," she said in agreement.

"But I don't understand? How can she be my mommy? You are my mommy… How can I have two?" Samantha asked the woman.

The woman sighed and was quiet for a moment, but then she said: "Myra is your real mother… She brought you to this world… Gave birth to you… Like Miss Lillian for example… You know why she has such a big belly right?"

"Yes!" Samantha exclaimed. "She's having a baby! She has a baby inside her belly…"

The woman laughed. "Yes, exactly!" she answered. "And when you were a baby you were inside Myra's belly…"

From the silence that followed Horace figured Samantha needed some time to process things. Horace couldn't help being impressed with the woman; the woman who he figured had to be Mrs. MacNamara. She appeared to be honest and kind and was able to explain things perfectly to Samantha.

"Then why didn't she take care of me?" Samantha suddenly asked? "Didn't she want me?" The question broke Horace's heart, but at the same time he was curious to know how Mrs. MacNamara would answer that question.

"Of course she wanted you," Mrs. MacNamara said to Samantha, her voice soothing and comforting. "She did take care of you for a while, but you were so young back then… Too young to remember… She tried to take care of you, but eventually she couldn't. She tried, she really did… She loved you and wanted to give you the best life possible, but she couldn't give it to you…"

"So she gave me away?" Samantha asked. Mrs. MacNamara hesitated before answering. "Well… not exactly…" She was quiet for a while and Horace knew exactly why. What was she going to say? Samantha deserved the truth, but how can you tell a five-year-old that some old woman took her away from her real mother? Myra never wanted to give her up; Diane had forced the decision on her. But was that a story you could tell a five-year-old? Horace was certain Mrs. MacNamara was asking herself these questions right now.

"Samantha," she started. "you have to understand that your real mother never wanted to give you away… But she couldn't give you the life that you deserved. Not at the time anyway… So you were brought to us, so we could take care of you…"

"I guess daddy is not my real daddy either, right?" Samantha asked. She didn't sound upset, in fact, she sounded rather curious. She seemed to understand the whole situation perfectly and didn't appear to be troubled by any of it. Somehow Horace felt proud. _You're more brave than I am, little one…_

"No, Paul is not your real daddy," Mrs. MacNamara answered the little girl. "Another man is… I believe his name is Horace…" Samantha giggled. "That's a funny name!" Horace looked down for a moment and slightly blushed in embarrassment. He'd never been fond of his name either. However, he couldn't help but smile at the pure honesty of his daughter.

"Why didn't he take care of me?" Samantha asked. The smile immediately disappeared from Horace's face. _Oh Samantha… I wish I could have been there… If I had only known where you were…_

"Sweetie, I'm sure he wanted to," Mrs. MacNamara said. "But I don't think he knew where you had gone. He and Myra didn't live together anymore. And Myra never knew where you had gone either… It's a sad story really… I'm sure that if he had known, he would have taken care of you… He loves you too and he'll be very happy to see you too today…"

"Do I have to stay with them now?" Samantha asked and for the first time Horace noticed some sadness and insecurity in her voice. "I want to stay with you…" Horace was sure he heard his heart break as he heard Samantha's confession. _Oh Samantha… I'm so sorry… _He closed his eyes. This was so hard. A part of him wanted her to stay with him forever, however another part couldn't bear the thought of taking her away from the people she considered as her parents. _It will hurt her so much… It will hurt the MacNamaras too… _

"Oh Samantha!" Mrs. MacNamara said compassionately. "Of course you don't have to stay with them… But you have to understand that they want to be a part of your life as well… Especially your father… I know it will be hard, especially at first… But I'm sure we can work things out… You know, you're a very lucky girl Samantha… Most children have only one mother and one father… You have two of each…"

_I can't do this! Why does this have to be so hard? I can't let her go again! But I know it's the right thing to do… Is this woman speaking the truth? Would she let me be part of Samantha's life? God, I hope so! I can't lose her too… Not for a second time! I can't lose her AND Myra… Please let me be part of her life, Mrs. MacNamara… Let her be part of mine… I need her…_

Horace closed his eyes and rested his head against the pillar. The thoughts inside his head nearly drove him insane. However, he had realized one thing today: He needed to do what was best for Samantha. Her interests were more important than those of his own. He could act selfishly and take her away from the MacNamaras, but he knew he would be destroying her life. And with that, possibly, also his relationship with her…

_Myra was right… Hank was right… But that doesn't mean I have to like it… I'm willing to do what's best for Samantha… I think… But then I NEED the MacNamaras to let me be part of her life… Only on that condition will I let her go… _

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I just couldn't find the time. I felt guilty almost everyday not being able to post something, but I didn't want to rush it either… I'm actually pretty proud of this story and I don't want to ruin it… I hope you understand and that you're still interested in this story!

**Chapter 19**

Myra looked around the room from her position in the bed. She was alone… Hank had left shortly after she had woken up and Horace still hadn't returned after his outburst a few hours earlier. She couldn't blame him, though. She could only imagine what he must be going through. The woman he loved dearly was dying while his daughter was living with another family… _Samantha… _ She and Horace would be seeing her soon. Myra smiled broadly at the thought but felt sad at the same time. _Poor Horace… He finally gets both of us back, only to give us both up again…_

She sighed deeply and then thought about the little reunion that would be coming up. The reunion with her daughter… _What will she look like? Will she recognize me? I hope so, but I'm afraid she won't… It's been so long… too long… What am I going to say to her? There are so many things I'd like to say to her… There's just so little time… Oh, Samantha! Why do I have to die? There are so many things I need to tell you, share with you… I want you to know me… I want to be a part of your life somehow… _

A knock on the door shook her from her thoughts. "Come in," she called and the door softly opened. Michaela stepped inside, with Horace right behind her. "Horace!" Myra called. "I'm so sorry…" she whispered. Horace moved towards the bed and smiled gently at her. He sat down on a chair and softly stroked Myra's hand. "It's alright, sweetheart," he said. "I just needed some time to think… And I… I realized that you and Hank were right… I need to do what's best for our little girl… I just hope I can be a part of her life somehow…" Myra smiled at the man she loved with all her heart and momentarily cursed herself for leaving him a couple of years ago. "I hope so too," she whispered.

"Myra?" Michaela said gently to draw the young woman's attention. Myra looked at the lady doctor and smiled. "Samantha is here… with Mr. and Mrs. MacNamara… Are you ready?" Myra's eyes went wide in excitement and joy. "She's here?" she asked with tears in her eyes. Michaela nodded. "Yes, they are… Are you ready, or do you need more time?" Myra shook her head and pulled herself into some sort of sitting position with Horace's help. "No!" she called. "I'm ready! More ready than I'll ever be…"

Of course she was ready. It was now or never. Michaela smiled back at her while Horace gently squeezed Myra's hand. Michaela turned around to open the door. "Come in," she said softly. "She's ready…" Michaela stepped aside eyeing Myra and Horace carefully. She could tell they were both nervous; it was written all over their faces. "I'll be down the hall if you need me," she said softly and then left the room.

Horace and Myra watched anxiously as Mr. and Mrs. MacNamara entered the small room. Mrs. MacNamara smiled gently at the couple in front of her. She walked towards the bed and extended her hand. "Hello," she said a bit shyly. "I'm Caroline MacNamara… this is my husband Paul." She nodded in her husband's direction, while Myra gently took her hand and shook it. Myra smiled at the couple and nodded at the both of them. Horace stood up to shake hands with the both of them. "It's so good to finally meet you," Myra said. Caroline briefly closed her eyes and gave Myra a soft but sad smile. "I just wish the circumstances had been better," Caroline answered.

Caroline felt really uncomfortable. What would happen when these two people would be reunited with their daughter? Would they be able to let her go again? Samantha was HER daughter now and she didn't want to lose her. _I can't lose her… It will kill me if I do…_

She looked at the ill woman in the bed. Even though death was near, Caroline thought she looked beautiful. She studied the woman's soft features. There was no doubt Samantha was her daughter, she could see that now. Caroline felt bad for Myra. She could only imagine the pain Myra must have felt, having to live without her daughter for the last few years. However, today they would be reunited again. A part of Caroline felt happy that she had the power to fulfill this woman's dying wish. But another part of her was afraid; terrified even… _What if they're mad at us? What if they don't want to give Samantha back to us? I can't live without her… She's the joy of our lives! _She looked at her husband briefly and noticed he was as nervous as she was.

"I…" Caroline started as she looked back at Myra again. "This is so hard… I just… I don't know what to say… I can only imagine what it must be like to…" She didn't finish her sentence. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She eyed Myra helplessly whose smile had never faded.

"It's alright," Myra said gently. "I realize this is hard for you too… Neither of our lives will ever be the same after this… But I'm sure we can work things out, right? Samantha can be a part of all of our lives… And we can all be a part of hers…" Caroline smiled through her tears. "I hope so," she whispered. "I can't imagine my life without her anymore…"

Myra watched the dark-haired woman carefully. She could tell Caroline loved Samantha very much and she couldn't help but to feel grateful, knowing that Samantha had found a home with such a loving family.

"Can we see her now?" Myra asked softly. Caroline noticed the pleading tone in Myra's voice. She nodded gently at the fatally ill woman. "Of course," she whispered. "I'll get her," Paul said. "I told her to wait in the hallway." He left the room but returned quickly, a young girl holding his hand.

"Samantha," he said softly. "Remember the woman we told you about? Your real mother? That's her…" He pointed towards Myra who had covered her mouth with her hands as soon as she had seen Samantha entering the room. "Go to her," Paul said softly and smiled encouragingly at the little girl. "I think she'd like to have a closer look at you…"

Samantha nodded and walked towards the bed. She looked at Horace first and smiled broadly at him. Horace smiled back at her. He could hardly believe the joy he felt as he saw her face. So sweet, so beautiful… He wanted to pick her up and hug her tightly, but this moment was not about him. This was Myra's moment… He would get enough chances to talk to Samantha; to hold her… at least, he hoped so.

Meanwhile, Myra had trouble believing what she was seeing. After nearly three years, Samantha, her daughter, was back and was now standing next to her bed eyeing her curiously. "Are you my mommy?" the young girl asked innocently. Myra felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Yes I am…" she whispered, hoping she wouldn't scare the young girl. Samantha just smiled and said, "so I have TWO mommies!" Myra chuckled at the comment. "Yes, you have…" She gently raised her arm to stroke Samantha's cheek. "Oh, how you've grown!" she said to the little girl while tears fell from her eyes. "And you're so beautiful!"

Myra felt happy and sad at the same time. She was so happy she was reunited with her daughter again. So intensely grateful that she was able to touch her again; hold her; speak to her… But she also felt sad about the fact she had missed out on so many things of Samantha's life already. _And I will miss out on the rest of her life as well… _

"There are so many things I'd like to tell you, Samantha…" Myra continued. "Things I want you to know… I want you to know who I am… explain to you why I did the things that I did… I so much want to be a part of your life…" The little girl listened carefully to Myra's words, and even though most of it didn't make sense to her, she was wise enough to understand that this woman needed to say these things to her and that the woman needed her attention. She wasn't afraid, quite the opposite! The woman somehow looked familiar… Everything felt familiar…

Myra stroked her daughter's hair and smiled at the little girl. "May I hold you?" she asked softly, again hoping she wouldn't be scaring Samantha away. To her surprise Samantha nodded, climbed onto the bed and wrapped her little arms around Myra's waist. To Myra it was everything she could have wished for. She took the small child into her embrace and hugged her tightly. "I love you so much Samantha… I've always loved you…"

They sat like that for a few minutes but eventually Samantha untangled herself from Myra and walked back to Caroline. She immediately grabbed the woman's hand and smiled up at her. A part of Myra wished she had been allowed to hold Samantha longer, but she knew she couldn't force the little girl. She wouldn't… She looked at the MacNamaras again and smiled. "Thank you," she said, her voice hoarse with emotions. "You're welcome," Caroline said softly and nodded at her.

"Before you leave, can I ask you a favour?" Myra asked. Both Caroline and Paul nodded. "Please let Horace be a part of Samantha's life… We don't want to claim her again… take her away from you… We can see that she's happy with you and I'm truly grateful that she has found such a lovely family… But please let Horace be a part of her life too… Let him visit; let her visit him sometime… When I'm gone Samantha will be all he has left… Please don't take that away from him…"

Horace was surprised by Myra's plea. He was also moved… The loving words made his heart burst with love for her. Then he looked back at the MacNamaras nervously. Would they let him be a part of Samantha's life? His fait was in their hands… _If they say no… I'll die… Then I will have no reason to stay in this world anymore… Please… Please say yes…_

Caroline had been moved by Myra's words as well. How could she say no to a plea like that? And was it really that much to give? _Samantha has the right to know who her real parents are… Who are we to deny her that? And who are we to deny her father to have contact with her? They have the right to get to know each other… _She was about to answer Myra's question when she heard her husband answer for the both of them: "Of course we'll let him be a part of her life… It's the least we can do… for you and Samantha…"

Caroline looked up at her husband and smiled broadly at him. Horace sighed deeply in relief and squeezed Myra's hand gently before kissing it. Then he looked back at the MacNamaras and nodded at them gratefully. "Thank you so much…"

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It had been an eventful afternoon for Myra. Maybe too eventful. She felt dead tired and even though she felt like sleeping, her mind kept wandering back to the afternoon's events. _Samantha… God, she had been so beautiful! Words can't express how grateful I am that I was allowed to see her one more time… But there are so many things I want to tell her… share with her… I need to explain things to her… God, why can't I? Why do I have to leave? Why can't I stay a bit longer? Why…_

She felt tears welling up in her eyes again. She knew death was near. She felt it… The events of today had taken so much of her energy. _I will die tonight… Tonight… Oh Samantha… I love you so much… I want to be a part of your life! I want you to know me… Why ain't it possible? Why… Is there a way? _Suddenly she was wide awake. She looked to her side and saw Horace staring down at her. "What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked gently. "H… Horace," she answered and grabbed his hand. "Please get Hank, Dorothy and Michaela for me… I need to ask them something… and you…"

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

The song used in this chapter is from a band called the Kelly Family. To those who actually know the song: yes, I changed a few words…

This chapter is quite long! Oh, and I think this chapter needs a tissue-warning…

**Chapter 20**

"_I'm waiting for my visit  
They fill this room with flowers an' all  
They put on their biggest smile  
But only for a while_

_If only I could help it  
If only mercy would be on my side  
I wouldn't have to die  
And my family wouldn't cry"_

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"Please stay," Myra whispered and looked at the four other people who were still in the room. Horace, Hank, Dorothy and Michaela… She smiled gently at them, but with a pleading look in her eyes. She knew that her end was near, she could feel it… And even though it felt like a relief to her, she couldn't help feeling scared. What would wait for her on the other side? Would she go to heaven? Or would she go to hell? Would there be a place for her, an ex-prostitute, in the Home of the Lord? She couldn't help but wondering…

"I… I want you all to be here when…" she closed her eyes, but didn't finish her sentence. Horace, who sat on a chair next to her bed, grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "It's okay to be scared," he said softly. "I think I would be too… But I'm pretty sure God will wait for you and welcome you with open arms…" Myra nodded while a tear escaped her eye.

"He'd be a fool if he didn't…" Hank commented, his voice hoarse. Myra looked at him and smiled. Even though Hank appeared to be strong and tough, she knew very well he was hurting inside. She knew he loved her… She had always known…

She closed her eyes again when a stab of pain shot through her body. She had been having these pains for a couple of days now, but now they were pretty much unbearable. Even Michaela's morphine didn't help much anymore. _Please God… Take me with You…_

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"_But the pain is getting far too strong  
And the medicine won't hold for long  
It's getting closer  
So I'm waiting for someone to come  
To come and take my soul where it belongs  
But no one's coming, no one…_

_So I'm calling heaven now  
I'm calling heaven now  
Calling heaven's hand  
So heaven help"_

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Myra looked at her friends and smiled at them. They were the best friends she could ever have wished for. _Some of them are even more than friends, _she thought when she looked from Horace to Hank. They had given her so much, especially in the last few days. Horace had been there for her like he had been there for her when they had first fallen in love. He had expressed his love for her again and they had finally cleaned the air between the two of them.

And Hank… Hank had made sure she was able to see her daughter one last time. He had moved heaven and earth to find her… She knew she could never repay him. _Hank… I love you Hank… More than you'll ever know…_

She felt so grateful to have these four people by her side. And today they had proven themselves to be worthy of her friendship again. She had asked them one last thing… She had expressed her last wish to them and had begged them to fulfil it. And they had promised they would… Dorothy, Michaela, Hank and Horace; they had all said 'yes'. And with the knowledge that her last wish would be fulfilled and knowing that both her daughter and Horace would be fine, she finally felt like she could peacefully leave this world.

She'd rather stay, of course. There were so many things she still wanted to do or say. Especially now that Samantha had reappeared in her life. _Samantha… Sweet, little Samantha… I wish we could have been a family. You, me and Horace… I wanted us to spend an eternity together! I wanted to raise you; watch you grown into a beautiful young woman… I wanted you to know me… But it's just not possible. At least not in the way I would have wanted to… But I have found a way, Samantha! I have found a way to be with you, to raise you! I've found a way for you to know me… And my dearest friends and your father will help me achieve that…_

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"_I try to find the answer  
I try to find the reason why I  
I'm leaving them all behind  
But there's something that I will find_

_The blood's still running through my heart  
But everything's slowly falling apart  
And I just can't take it  
So I'm waiting for someone to come  
To come and take my soul where it belongs  
But no one's coming, no one…"_

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Myra knew it wouldn't be long now. The pains were getting stronger and she felt incredibly tired. She had trouble keeping her eyes open. _If there's anything I want to say to them, I have to do it now…_

"Dorothy?" she said softly, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes Myra," Dorothy answered. Myra beckoned her to sit on the bed next to her, so she did as the young woman pleased. Myra immediately took her hand and squeezed it. "You've proved to be such a good friend to me Dorothy," Myra started as she looked Dorothy straight in the eyes. "And about what I asked you… I know you can do it Dorothy… I have faith in you…"

"Oh Myra," Dorothy said as she wiped away some tears that had managed to fall from her eyes. "Life is so unfair! You already had to go through so much… This is not right… You…" Myra closed her eyes and shook her head. "It's alright Dorothy," she whispered. "It's the way it supposed to go… It's alright…"

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"_So I'm calling heaven now"_

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"Dr. Mike? Please come sit next to me…" Myra asked the lady doctor. Michaela sat down on the bed and took Myra's hand into hers. It pained her to watch the young woman suffer. However, it pained her even more that she, as a doctor, hadn't been able to find a cure. She hadn't even been able to determine what it was Myra was suffering from. Michaela felt so helpless. As a doctor it supposed to be her duty to cure people from an illness. To help them… Then why wasn't she able to help Myra? Myra, of all people…

"Don't blame yourself, Dr. Mike," Myra said. "You did the best you could… I know you did… You… You just weren't meant to cure me… I think I'm not meant to be healed… It's supposed to go this way…" She was quiet for a moment. She was so exhausted and there was nothing more she'd rather do right more than to close her eyes and sleep. But she knew if she would give in now, she would never wake up… And then she would never be able to say goodbye to her friends again. Her friends and the man she loved…

"I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me," she eventually continued. "You are a great doctor, but an even more wonderful person… I feel so blessed to have known you…" Michaela smiled and stroked her hair. "I'm not the only wonderful person here, Myra…" Michaela answered, with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "You are the strongest woman I ever had the pleasure of meeting… You've been through so much, but you conquered it all! I wish I had your strength Myra…"

"You're already strong Dr. Mike," Myra said with a smile. Michaela laughed and cried at the same time. She leaned forward to hug her friend one last time. "I'll miss you," she whispered. "We'll meet again someday," Myra answered as she wrapped her arms around the lady doctor. "Keep an eye on Hank and Horace for me, please?" She spoke so softly that her request went unheard by the others in the room. But Michaela had heard it. She smiled and said, "I will…"

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"_I'm calling heaven now"_

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Hank slowly approached the bed and hesitated before sitting down. He didn't feel comfortable. He loved Myra dearly, but he didn't want to show his emotions for everyone else to see. However, this would be the last time he would ever see Myra; the last time he would be able to talk to her… He was very well aware of that. Many different feelings ran through him.

Anger… _Why does she have to die? If there is a God, then why in hell would he take such a beautiful soul? It ain't fair! She should have her whole life ahead of her! A life with her daughter… and Horace…_

Sadness… _I don't want to lose her… I love her… I always have… I know she doesn't love me back, not the way I want to anyway… But she holds my heart…_

Hank was shaken from his thoughts when he felt Myra's hand on his. Her sweet smile made his heart melt and he couldn't help but smiling back at her. "I… I don't know what to say…" his voice was soft, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "It's alright," Myra answered. "You don't have to say anything… I need you to listen to what I have to say…"

"However much I may have hated you in the past, there are nearly no words to express how much I love you right now… You've done so much for me; I know I'll never be able to repay you… You brought me to Colorado Springs - twice! Thanks to you, I have found a home, a family… Thanks to you, I was able to see my daughter one last time… I love you Hank… Maybe not in the way you wanted me to, but you are so dear to me… I want you to know that…"

Myra caressed his cheek as a tear escaped his eye. She gently wiped it away, knowing Hank would hate it if the others saw him cry. He was so moved by her speech. He never thought he would hear her say these words. But now she had told him… She loved him. And it meant the world to him… He took her hand and squeezed it gently before bringing it to his lips. He kissed it and whispered, "I love you too…"

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"_Calling heaven's hand"_

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Horace had trouble holding himself together. He felt like screaming, crying his heart out, cursing the Great Being high in the sky that was about to take away the woman from him that he loved with all his heart. He sat down on his knees next to the bed and took Myra in his embrace. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much!"

Myra closed her eyes and relished the warm and secure feeling of Horace's embrace. "I love you too," she whispered. "I wish I didn't have to go yet… There are so many things I want to tell you…"

"You don't need to," Horace whispered back, choking back a sob. "I already know… I wish I had never let you go… I shouldn't have let you go… We were meant for each other and I can't believe we forgot about that! That we failed to see that years ago…"

They were both quiet for a moment. Horace tightened his grip on her, not yet ready to let her go. "I'm scared…" Myra whispered. Horace closed his eyes and rocked her gently. And even though his knees were starting to hurt like hell, he refused to change his position, because it would mean he would have to let go of her. "Me too," he answered as he kissed her forehead.

"But I'm sure God will welcome you with open arms, sweetheart. You are the sweetest girl I've ever met. You're caring and warm… You're beautiful… inside and out… I wondered what on earth possessed God to take you away from me… from us… But I think I know why now… He must be needing an angel…"

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"_So heaven help"_

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Myra looked around the room one last time. She took in the sights of her friends, her family, before finally closing her eyes. She was tired… so tired… But she was ready, ready to leave this world... Forever…

_This is it… I feel it… Life… Life is flowing out of my body… Finally… I can't take the pain anymore… So much pain… Let me go… Peace… Give me peace… It doesn't feel that bad actually… Light… So beautiful! Peace… I'm at peace… I'm not afraid… not afraid… It's beautiful Horace! I wish you could see it… feel it… Goodbye my love… I'll be seeing ya'all soon! I know I will… I'll be waiting…_

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"_I see it in their faces  
They know I will be leaving tonight  
But somewhere down the line  
I'm sure we'll meet again  
Somewhere down the line  
I'm sure we'll meet again…"_

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

English is not my native language! A big thank you to Sarah who has helped me with the grammar and spelling of this story! You are great!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does…  
**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...  
**Warnings:** This story is situated right before the last movie, which is about 2 years after the ending of season 6. However, at the time I write this story, I haven't seen the most of season 5 and 6. I've seen it a long time ago, but I've forgotten about most things. So it's possible that some things don't match with the things that happened on the show during the last 2 seasons. You could say that this story is slightly AU…  
This story has NOTHING to do with my previous stories! It's a standalone… Zack is alive!!!!  
**Genre:** Drama / Tragedy (Yes, I'll be killing someone off again… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
**Summary: **When Hank visits his son in Denver, he walks into Myra. Though, she isn't the woman he remembered…

Sorry it took me so long to update (again), but I've been busy and I'm dealing with some health problems, so… hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me!

As this is the final chapter of this story I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read this story and everyone who has commented on it! Thank you all so much! To me, this is one of the best stories I've written so far; I'm really proud of it, and it's good to know other people appreciated this story as well. Thanks!

And of course there's a special thank you to Sarah, who has checked every chapter for grammar and spelling mistakes. Thank you for giving up some of your free time to do that!

And now on to the final chapter…

**Chapter 21**

_**Spring 1876**_

Hank sat on a chair in front of his saloon and watched as his son and the beautiful Jasmine walked hand in hand towards Loren's shop. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. They looked so cute together. Hank was grateful his son had found such a sweet and beautiful girl like Jasmine, however long it had taken them to realize they were meant to be together.

For months they had gone around in circles, hoping that one would notice the other; hoping that the other would see that one's feelings weren't only feelings of friendship. It had taken them months to realize they felt the same way about each other; that they were in love with each other. It wasn't a surprise to anyone in town when they had finally decided to start courting. The townspeople had already known they were in love the first day they had seen them together. They definitely knew true love when they saw it…

Hank was incredibly grateful Zack had finally found happiness. The boy deserved it. Jasmine was just the sweetest thing; helping everyone, taking care of people, especially of Zack. She reminded Hank of Myra. _Myra…_

Tomorrow it would have been a year ago… The day she died… Already a year had passed since her death, though Hank remembered it like it was yesterday. It had been one of the saddest days of his life. She had died peacefully, surrounded by her closest friends and her husband. It had been a beautiful death, even Hank thought so; still, the pain he had felt after she had taken her very last breath had been unbearable.

The thought that he would never be able to talk to her, to hold her, to tell her how much he loved her, to tell her how sorry he was for things he had done… Those thoughts were often too much to bear. Even a year later he had trouble dealing with the fact that Myra was no longer there.

He could only imagine how Horace must feel; however, the man seemed to be coping well. Maybe that also had to do with the fact that Samantha was a part of his life again. The MacNamaras had proven to be true to their word and had let Horace be a part of the little girl's life. He was allowed to visit and write Samantha as often as he wanted; she had even visited him on a few occasions, usually accompanied by Caroline MacNamara. A true friendship had developed between the MacNamaras and Horace, a friendship both parties seemed to treasure.

To Hank's surprise the MacNamaras also seemed to accept him for who he was. It had been one of his biggest fears: Zack being judged by Jasmine's family because of what Hank did for a living. But the MacNamaras hadn't judged Zack, nor had they judged Hank. They had accepted them both for who they were, which was kinda new to Hank. However, he couldn't help being grateful for it.

Another thing that had changed greatly over the past year was Hank's relationship with Horace. Since Myra's death, Hank had vowed to himself to never mock the man anymore. He used to love teasing Horace, making him the butt of every joke, mocking him as much as he could. However, these days he simply couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it anymore. He had started to respect Horace and he knew Horace respected him too. They would never be friends, they both knew that, but they had something in common. Someone… And because of that, all the feelings of hate, disgust and contempt they used to feel for each other had disappeared and had made way for mutual respect.

Hank looked up when he heard footsteps approaching him. He saw Dorothy standing a few feet away from him, a soft smile on her face. "It's finished," she said, her voice almost a whisper. Hank closed his eyes for a moment, not knowing what to say to the red-haired woman. "Horace is already taking a look," Dorothy continued, "and I'm about to get Michaela as well. Are you coming too?" Hank sighed deeply as many different emotions were rushing through his body. Then he nodded, stood up and followed Dorothy.

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"It looks beautiful," Michaela said softly. "Thank you," Dorothy whispered. "But I couldn't have done it without the rest of you." Michaela just smiled at her friend but didn't say anything. Nor did Horace and Hank…

Horace just kept wiping his tears, while Hank wasn't able to look away from the object he was holding in his hands. "We made her wish come true," Horace said between sobs. Michaela rubbed his shoulder and tried to sooth him. "Yes we did," she whispered as she was trying very hard to control her own emotions. Hank just remained quiet. He didn't know what to say anyway. He was at a loss for words. A single tear escaped his eye which told Dorothy and Michaela everything they needed to know. They all looked at the object Hank held in his hands. A book… Just a simple book. However, that book held a story, an amazing story about a woman they all loved so dearly.

Hank rubbed his fingers over the blue linen cover and once again stared at the title which was written in golden, calligraphic letters: "Myra's Story"…

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"_I have a favour to ask you all," Myra said and beckoned everyone to sit down on her bed. They all sat down except for Hank who leaned casually against the wall. "What is it?" Michaela asked curiously. Myra smiled. "I've found a way to be a part of Samantha's life," she explained. "A way to teach her, to help raise her… a way for her to know me… But I need your help to do it." _

_Horace raised an eyebrow and took Myra's hand in his. "But how?" he asked. Myra squeezed Horace's hand gently and then looked at Dorothy. "I want my life, my story, written down," she answered. Dorothy's eyes went wide, as did Michaela's and Horace's. Hank just kept his composure, not showing any emotions._

"_Written down?" Horace asked. "As in a book?" Myra nodded. "Yes," she answered. "Dorothy can do it and you can help her!" Dorothy's eyes went even wider. "I can't do that!" she called out. "I already messed up writing an article about you! No way I can write a proper book…"_

_Myra let go of Horace's hand and took Dorothy's in hers. "Yes you can!" Myra said. "I know you can… You've written a book once and it was great! Even though it caused some problems… But you wrote the truth! You wrote everything the way it was! And I want my story written down like that too… You can do that Dorothy! And Horace, Hank and Dr. Mike can help you. They know my story…"_

_For a moment no one spoke. They simply didn't know what to say. Could they do this? Write down Myra's life for everyone to read? It also meant exposing parts of their own life. Their own personalities… Were they willing to put that all in the open? Myra working for Hank? Myra and Horace's divorce. Horace's attempted suicide? Were they willing to share these things with the outside world? _

"_I don't know Myra…" Horace said softly. "I understand why you want this, but… what about us? I'm not sure I want everyone to know about our fights and such… I just… I don't know…" _

"_I understand that too Horace," Myra answered. "Maybe I'm being selfish here… But I need Samantha to know me! I need to be a part of her life somehow! Ain't there a better way to do this than to write it all down?"_

_Horace nodded. "But only one copy then! For Samantha…" To his surprise Myra shook her head. "No Horace…" she answered. "I've been thinking about my life the last few days. All the mistakes I've made… If I could do it all over again I would have done so many things differently. I want to send out a message. A message to all the young women out there. I want them to learn from my mistakes… I want them to know what can happen if you're to proud to ask for help. You can lose it all…"_

_Michaela nodded in understanding and so did Dorothy. "You're a wise woman Myra," Dorothy answered softly. Myra smiled. "I learned from the best," she replied and shot both women in front of her a meaningful look. _

"_What do you say, Horace? Hank?" Myra asked a bit nervously and looked from one man to the other. "I need this… My last wish… Please?" She knew she was being a bit selfish now, but didn't she have the right to be? She was a dying woman! Her whole life she had cared more for others than for herself. She always put the needs of others in front of those of her own. Was it so wrong to be selfish for once? Was she even being selfish? All she wanted was for Samantha to know her and to send out a message to every woman in the country. She wanted other people, including her daughter, to learn from her mistakes. That was a good thing, right?_

"_We'll do it," Hank said suddenly, not caring what Horace thought. This was Myra's last wish. Who was he to decide it could not be fulfilled? Wouldn't it be selfish to deny Myra her wish only because they were to afraid to show everyone the bad sides of their personalities? The bad things that had happened in their lives with Myra? 'To hell with it,' Hank thought. 'I'd do anything for you…'_

"_Horace?" Myra asked one last time as she looked at him pleadingly. "I want this so badly…" Horace sighed deeply before softly kissing her hand. "Alright…" he finally said. "We'll do it…"_

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Horace sat at the table at his home and looked at the book lying in front of him on the table. _I can't believe it's finally finished… I hope it's what you wanted… _He softly touched the cover with his fingertips. _Shall I read it? I'm not sure if I can… Stupid actually, because I already know what it's a bout… I helped writing it… _

He looked at a picture that stood on a sideboard. It was a picture of Myra, drawn by Zack. "I'm proud of them, Myra," he said, never taking his eyes of the picture. "I hope you are too… They gave everything to make your wish come true. I hope it's what you wanted…"

He looked at the book again and stared at the beautiful golden letters. "I miss you Myra," he whispered as his fingers brushed the letters forming his wife's name. "I miss you every day… We all do… How could we not miss you? I'm glad I decided to go on with this, Myra… This way you're not only a part of Samantha's life, you're also a part of mine…"

Then he finally opened the book and decided to read it. The first page already brought a smile to his lips, but also brought tears to his eyes:

_This book is dedicated to my beautiful daughter Samantha  
May the sun always shine upon you  
And even when the rain comes, remember that you are not alone  
God is always with you and so will I  
You'll forever be in my heart and I hope I'll forever be in yours  
Learn from your mistakes and those of others  
Life is what you make of it_

_Your loving mother,_

_Myra_

The End


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